Jump to content

American, shot dead in Dumanjug, Cebu


David_LivinginTalisay

Recommended Posts

I had to commute to work from Norwalk CT to Columbia Univ in NYC daily. I parked my car, an old beaten Datsun B210, under the subway tracks as they cross 125th Street and Broadway. My old nasty Datsun was never broken into while cars around mine were. Relative conspicuous consumption triggers envy anywhere.

 

The Philippines are

- dreadfully poor

- had their cultures suppressed where not destroyed for by European colonizers

- that the US annexed, via a corrupt deal between McKinley and William Jennings Bryant, as we suppressed the Filipino insurgents who had fought Spain with the US under the understanding that they would become independent

- who waged guerrilla warfare with Allied soldiers throughout the Japanese occupation assuming that Roosevelt's promises to decolonize Asian and Africa would hold

- who suffered under America's Marcos's rule while fighting at our side in Vietnam and absorbing the compulsions of American consumerism

- who suffer watching their lovely young women and children serving sex tourists from around the world

 

I am surprised that relatively rich Americans, European, and Asian men are not routine targets of hate crimes.

 

And to poke my newbee nose (knowing it will probably suffer a few wild swings) deeper into another of the boards controversies, I think people set themselves up for failure if not violence by trying to recreate an American nuclear families in the Philippines or with their bride in the US. The culture appears to me to be fundamentally oriented around family, clan,neighborhood, and - occasionally - the workplace. I watched the horrific Murder in the Family film today and it occurred to me that if they had moved to the wive's village after getting married that HER behavior would have been constrained by the surround of her family in a context of 0 privacy.

 

Many commentators on this board routinely see their amorata's ever growing desire to finance an ever growing network of friends and family as evidence of some deeply malign factors in the culture. If, instead, one sees it in the context of Filipino generosity and poverty - prestige is guaged by gifts given and received, ones ability to be the breadwinner for the extended family, and the middle class and upper class's reliance on servants. The folks who seem happiest on this board are those who have worked to accept and understand their adopted culture.

 

-Chris

 

Good post Chris and yes you might find a number of people who disagree with some of your comments. There is extreme sensitivity on this board to any criticism of US foreign policy past or present and I think it is for that reason discussion of political issues is banned.

 

Your last sentence is an interesting observation. The happiest foreigners I know in the Phils are busy people. They have businesses, jobs and/or hobbies that keep them very much occupied. The least happy foreigners I know are the alcoholic economic refugees who sit around bitching about the philippines and filipinos, in particular their wife's family, but can't afford to get out of the phils.

 

I have lived with my wife's family when I was a young guy and we have since built in the middle of family territory. I am incredibly close to my filipino family and the friends I have made over the past 25 years. When I was in my 20's and living with them money was never an issue as I had hardly any. We have helped where we can over the years but the crunch will come when we retire, leave our australian incomes knowing the big paychecks are behind us. Family life in the Phils is great but where do you draw the line with paying hospital bills or school fees or food or electric bills ? I'm sure we will work out a happy medium but at some stage it will become an issue. Remember some of the guys on this board have been badly burnt by immersing themselves in family life so you need to take that into account.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 87
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • David_LivinginTalisay

    10

  • billten

    6

  • Mik

    5

  • smokey

    4

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

May the greedy murdering bastards be damned.   How to survive in a corrupt land? Keep a low profile. Avoid financial entanglements with locals. Avoid disputes with locals. Don't make enemies.   .

David when are you going to realize typing long winded responses time and time again over and over again, is a waste of bandwidth, get over it! you lost your wives commission money now move on! I for

I don't think it's really a good idea to post so much information about this when there's still an ongoing investigation. You never know who may be reading this public forum.

Posted Images

Have an occasional social night where everyone gets drunk at your expense. Help out if a neighbour is in trouble.

 

Great if you have deep enough pockets to do this frequently.....after the first time occasionally just will just not work.

Link to post
Share on other sites
JamesMusslewhite

gotta love you guys ..spent two weeks in the pi and some time in cebu not too long ago.. getting to know the place and no one even said hello or noticed...maybe your mentor should have concentrated on incomprehensable reading comprehension :) ...its a gift a puzzle a little nuzzle the zees and cees are the keys to please...its almost xmas amigos...see yall soon..i got to see the poor boys new digs..youve got the cypher..with some sweat and a little fun ...its an easy 1000 to 1..way better than 46...man its hard typing in these restraints..almost time for meds and oatmeal ..

 

I know it may be schizophrenia that makes you think:

some people may have been ignoring you because they may not like you.

 

So let me say this to relieve your possible paranoia and put your fears at ease: The Conspiracy is real

Everybody was ignoring you because nobody likes you.............. :)

 

 

 

Hope to meet you next time you visit......

Edited by JamesMusslewhite
Link to post
Share on other sites
JamesMusslewhite

I had to commute to work from Norwalk CT to Columbia Univ in NYC daily. I parked my car, an old beaten Datsun B210, under the subway tracks as they cross 125th Street and Broadway. My old nasty Datsun was never broken into while cars around mine were. Relative conspicuous consumption triggers envy anywhere.

 

The Philippines are

- dreadfully poor

- had their cultures suppressed where not destroyed for by European colonizers

- that the US annexed, via a corrupt deal between McKinley and William Jennings Bryant, as we suppressed the Filipino insurgents who had fought Spain with the US under the understanding that they would become independent

- who waged guerrilla warfare with Allied soldiers throughout the Japanese occupation assuming that Roosevelt's promises to decolonize Asian and Africa would hold

- who suffered under America's Marcos's rule while fighting at our side in Vietnam and absorbing the compulsions of American consumerism

- who suffer watching their lovely young women and children serving sex tourists from around the world

 

I am surprised that relatively rich Americans, European, and Asian men are not routine targets of hate crimes.

 

And to poke my newbee nose (knowing it will probably suffer a few wild swings) deeper into another of the boards controversies, I think people set themselves up for failure if not violence by trying to recreate an American nuclear families in the Philippines or with their bride in the US. The culture appears to me to be fundamentally oriented around family, clan,neighborhood, and - occasionally - the workplace. I watched the horrific Murder in the Family film today and it occurred to me that if they had moved to the wive's village after getting married that HER behavior would have been constrained by the surround of her family in a context of 0 privacy.

 

Many commentators on this board routinely see their amorata's ever growing desire to finance an ever growing network of friends and family as evidence of some deeply malign factors in the culture. If, instead, one sees it in the context of Filipino generosity and poverty - prestige is guaged by gifts given and received, ones ability to be the breadwinner for the extended family, and the middle class and upper class's reliance on servants. The folks who seem happiest on this board are those who have worked to accept and understand their adopted culture.

 

-Chris

 

I do not see any part of your post that is not based on historical facts or honest observations. Excellent post.

 

We have no walls, bodyguards, dogs, and our door is open to our neighbors. I and my family can walk and not have any reason to feel uneasy, even if it is late night walks. We live simple, act simple, and treat everyone with respect. It is often that we here the comment, "You are not like other foreigners." my wife hears, "You are not like other Balikbayans." We treat everyone as if we still lived in Texas, that every man deserves respect and no man is better than another.

 

I love where I live and our neighbors and think of them as family even though we were strangers a year ago. I have a blessed life here and do not see living anywhere else anytime soon. You have to have respect before you can expect to receive respect. It amazes how some can be such asses and act as if they are kind respectful shareing people, when they really are just stuffy uptight arrogant greedy selfish dick-weeds. So many foreigners act as if they are so important and the Philippines is here only to serve and service them. It is like watching a poor man at a restaurant trying to boss around the staff so they can act important for once.

 

We are only accepted guest into their world, and they will get along fine without some of us causing trouble.You separate yourself from the locals with blatant displays of wealth and elitist actions and attitudes; then do not complain that you have made yourself a target of your creation.

Edited by JamesMusslewhite
Link to post
Share on other sites
JohnFromTexas

I don't know. I pretty much like living here.

 

But I'm not stupid. I know that if I go walking alone in some cheesy part of town at midnight, my risks go up greatly.

I know that if I pick someone to hang around me in life who has a family full of dysfunctional people, that crap will begin to affect my life as well.

I know that if I pick someone to hang around me in life who is very dysfunctional emotionally and socially, is going to weigh me down and not pick me up (unless I'm more dysfunctional than her).

I don't have illusions about the Phils being freer than anywhere else on the planet, but so far my lifestyle fits well within their rules as they did in the states.

I don't walk around feeling that everyone is a saint or an asshole. I learn to use good judgement and evaluate all situations as they arise. That way I don't walk around blind and end up a sucker for every scam possible or walk around paranoid as all hell thinking the boogeyman is under my bed.

I know that no matter what situation I'm in, there is always someone bigger, badder, and has a bigger gun than me.

I don't avoid getting involved with people, but try to be smart enough to know when to walk away when its not right and don't feed any fantasies.

 

Shit happens on this planet. America or the Philippines. Shit happens more if you're stupid. That's true in America (I've had my share of stupidity) and is true here as well. Figure out what works for you and the people you hang with - I don't believe there's a magic formula. If you need to take risks, accept them for what they are and if crap hits the fan, well what do you expect? No need to live in a closet here, but like anywhere else, it pays to live smart the best you can, most of the time.

 

Hell yeah. Same here -- I'd also add to become a part of the family -- they'll help to protect you and look out for you. Most of the people here in the philippines are good people. There are a few bad ones, but it's a small % just like in the USA. I can't say I feel as safe living where I am now as in some of the places I have lived in the USA -- but I feel as safe as the near-ghetto I lived in at one point in Des Moines, IA. I definitely feel safer here than I would in certain parts of LA, Chicago, New York, or almost any big city. Almost all of them have bad parts of town I would feel much less safe in than here. And right now I live in a poor neighborhood, though there are poorer that I've seen. It seems no matter how poor you are here, there is always someone else poorer.

 

As for freedom, what's the difference for me? I'm not arrogant or a prick so I would say the same things here that I would in the states if I were talking to someone. I treat people respectfully anyway. Politics? i gave up on politics in the USA years ago. To me the US system is just about as corrupt as here -- the only difference is there was a long period when the leadership was good for the country. Now all i see is continual avoidance of the problems that face the USA because for a politician to tell the truth about what needs to be done in the US it would be politically incorrect and a 'hard' choice that americans are too pampered to bother hearing. The answer to all problems in the USA is 'throw money at it and don't hurt anyone's feelings or step on anyone's toes while you do it.' I wouldn't bother to be part of any political movement in the USA as the only ones that reflect my values are doomed to failure because no one wants to hear it.

 

Its common knowledge you can live here cheaper then the us ... all you have to do is forget hot water... bake in the sun... do without police or fire protection. Give up good steak... learn to use carbon paper again for paperwork. Buy only used shorts and slippers to wear everywhere, order rice with everything... eat ice cream with corn and assorted veggies in it...and have no car..., use jeepney for travel... and get used to buying out of date products.. Did I miss anything... oh yea and get used to living like sardines,

 

Robert all you do is rag on the philippines and people who want to live there. Why are you even here??? As for fire protection there's a fire station just a few blocks from where I am. i see more police in the streets here than in the US. You can have hot water and a/c if that's what you want, it's just not free like anywhere else in the world. You can have a car too if you want... why do you persist on telling lies??

 

- who suffered under America's Marcos's rule while fighting at our side in Vietnam and absorbing the compulsions of American consumerism

- who suffer watching their lovely young women and children serving sex tourists from around the world

 

I am surprised that relatively rich Americans, European, and Asian men are not routine targets of hate crimes.

 

And to poke my newbee nose (knowing it will probably suffer a few wild swings) deeper into another of the boards controversies, I think people set themselves up for failure if not violence by trying to recreate an American nuclear families in the Philippines or with their bride in the US. The culture appears to me to be fundamentally oriented around family, clan,neighborhood, and - occasionally - the workplace. I watched the horrific Murder in the Family film today and it occurred to me that if they had moved to the wive's village after getting married that HER behavior would have been constrained by the surround of her family in a context of 0 privacy.

 

They're not routine targets of hate crimes because I don't think most filipinos are filled with hate. They are genuine people who accept that this is just life and don't resent everyone else for their lot in it. There are probably people here who do, just like in every country... but they are not representative of the average filipino. As for the murder in the family thing, it was nasty... but no worse than other similar crimes I've seen reported on in the USA. I don't know if being with her family would have changed anything unless she had never gone to be part of the sex industry.

 

 

We have no walls, bodyguards, dogs, and our door is open to our neighbors. I and my family can walk and not have any reason to feel uneasy, even if it is late night walks. We live simple, act simple, and treat everyone with respect. It is often that we here the comment, "You are not like other foreigners." my wife hears, "You are not like other Balikbayans." We treat everyone as if we still lived in Texas, that every man deserves respect and no man is better than another.

 

I love where I live and our neighbors and think of them as family even though we were strangers a year ago. I have a blessed life here and do not see living anywhere else anytime soon. You have to have respect before you can expect to receive respect. It amazes how some can be such asses and act as if they are kind respectful shareing people, when they really are just stuffy uptight arrogant greedy selfish dick-weeds. So many foreigners act as if they are so important and the Philippines is here only to serve and service them. It is like watching a poor man at a restaurant trying to boss around the staff so they can act important for once.

 

We are only accepted guest into their world, and they will get along fine without some of us causing trouble.You separate yourself from the locals with blatant displays of wealth and elitist actions and attitudes; then do not complain that you have made yourself a target of your creation.

 

Hear hear. What is it about texans that we have the same attitude? I don't come here expecting people to treat me any differently, tho they sometimes do. People are people here like anywhere else and if you treat them with the same respect as anyone else, they will generally give you the same. If you're an a-hole (like one person I am thinking of specifically in this thread) then people will treat you like one no matter where you are. The only difference is some people here are more likely to come back at you with violence than elsewhere. But it happens at home too... some reality star's husband was died just a couple of weeks back after getting in a bar fight. Why do people act as if the RP is any different than any other country? The only thing really different is the focus on the family (which i LIKE) and the poverty, but there's not much one can do about that.

Link to post
Share on other sites

 

We have no walls, bodyguards, dogs, and our door is open to our neighbors. I and my family can walk and not have any reason to feel uneasy, even if it is late night walks. We live simple, act simple, and treat everyone with respect. It is often that we here the comment, "You are not like other foreigners." my wife hears, "You are not like other Balikbayans." We treat everyone as if we still lived in Texas, that every man deserves respect and no man is better than another.

 

I love where I live and our neighbors and think of them as family even though we were strangers a year ago. I have a blessed life here and do not see living anywhere else anytime soon. You have to have respect before you can expect to receive respect. It amazes how some can be such asses and act as if they are kind respectful shareing people, when they really are just stuffy uptight arrogant greedy selfish dick-weeds. So many foreigners act as if they are so important and the Philippines is here only to serve and service them. It is like watching a poor man at a restaurant trying to boss around the staff so they can act important for once.

 

We are only accepted guest into their world, and they will get along fine without some of us causing trouble.You separate yourself from the locals with blatant displays of wealth and elitist actions and attitudes; then do not complain that you have made yourself a target of your creation.

 

Good post James. I like your positive attitude about life in Siargao.

Link to post
Share on other sites
smokey

Robert all you do is rag on the philippines and people who want to live there. Why are you even here??? As for fire protection there's a fire station just a few blocks from where I am. i see more police in the streets here than in the US. You can have hot water and a/c if that's what you want, it's just not free like anywhere else in the world. You can have a car too if you want... why do you persist on telling lies??

 

 

 

 

 

 

gee tex your hear what a few weeks and already an expert on everything cebu.. And you have to be drunk to think you have police and fire protection that compares to the US ... Have you ever called the police here?? didnt think so ? Dont you worry about me tex i have EVERYTHING a guy could want ... Telling lies? Gee tex you hurt me so... not... Your suffering from new guy fever that is when your so excited about finally having a women that doesnt weight more then you .. you could be under the strain of being PW.. oh and tex put on them old glasses and read what i said... its ONLY cheaper here if you are willing to do with out some things.. but i am not one of the people who is willing to do without ...

Edited by robert51
Link to post
Share on other sites

He doesn't need me to defend him but Robert's posts are based on years of living in the phils with first hand knowledge including bringing up kids in cebu, building a house and his recent experience of the hospital system. Of course everone has different opinions but I have learnt a lot from Robert's posts. With your one weeks experience of life in the Phils you would be well advised to listen and learn rather than criticise.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Give 'em a chance he'll get burnt soon with his rose colored glasses! Kinda reminds me of our other one month wonders that pass through the site from time to time ;)

Link to post
Share on other sites

gee tex your hear what a few weeks and already an expert on everything cebu..

 

He's been there a few days.

Link to post
Share on other sites
JohnFromTexas

I don't have rose colored glasses on -- I know the philippines isn't perfect or the US - I just don't think it's as bad as Robert and the naysayers in this thread say, and there are people here who have lived here as long as robert who agree with me. Once again robert resorts to personal attacks when he knows NOTHING about me. I'm 37 old man, I don't need reading glasses. Look in the mirror I didn't have to come here to find a woman or find one who weighs less than me. I did just fine in the US. Don't talk about crap you know NOTHING about Robert. If you wanna disagree with me on the philippines, that's fine disagree all you want. I still don't understand why the rules of this site don't apply to you, and I don't understand what you're doing here if you hate it so much or why you spend so much of your time attacking others. That signifies a sad and unhappy person to me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay, here are my comments:

 

First, bear in mind that I haven't read this thread in a while. But, as usual, some members decided to hijack it, thus causing it to sway off-topic. (What the hell is the matter? You people can't stay on topic? Or, is that too much to ask for on this site?) I have no reason to read anything prior to post number 76, which is the top of this page for me (each of you can adjust the number of posts you see in your personal control panel, so that you don't think I'm crazy.)

 

Second, I am having to do as each of you have, continuing to go off-topic here.

 

Third, Tex, you are new man. Things are NOT always what they seem in the Philippines. Once you have been on the ground here for a while, you will see a number of things much differently than you do now. Don't get me wrong, I love this country and its people very much. I do a lot every year to help the Philippines grow in a positive direction. But, never forget this. You are a foreigner here, and have few, if any rights in the Philippines. Your (collective) "family" may "love" you now, but trust me, even they can turn on you like a rabid dog. Blood is thicker than water, which strongly applies here.

 

An example: I was very, very close to Vivian's family before. I would have done anything for them. Her father saw me in my car giving a girl a ride home (I was doing it for a friend at the time). They immediately assumed I was screwing around on their daughter, and immediately turned on me. She, at the time, thought I had too, because of what her family thought he saw. The only member of the family who didn't turn on me, and believed me, was Lola, the family matriarch. In fact, they didn't finally change their minds, until the day I moved away from their home.

 

Since then, they have tried to ask my forgiveness, etc., etc. Well, too little, too late. I will never, ever go back there again. I was judged without anyone even asking me about it. I was tried, judged and executed (so to speak) without ever being allowed a defense.

 

Trust me, man. I have been here for a long time, and have been coming here for much longer. That is how it can be for every foreigner on this site, if you live here. If you don't believe me, wait until your wife or girlfriend, or her family, are seriously pissed off at you and believe that you have caused them to lose face in any way. Shit will change for you then, I assure you. So, if you are engaged, do not get married or plan to get married for some time to come. There is NO reason to rush it. If you do, chances are you will regret it later. If you are already married, I'm sorry. I advised you too late.

 

Now, you fellas who are giving Tex shit: Understand he is new and has a lot to learn. He's only been in the country for a very short time. But, he is quite excited about being here and to learn what he is experiencing. I'm sure each of you remember your first, early days in the country, no? Or, have each of you forgotten them? Give him time to learn the ropes and to get his feet wet. He's a newbie and sees things differently than we do. But, perhaps he will come around in time.

 

Lastly, if anyone wishes to reply to this post (Certainly feel free to do so, because I'm a big boy and can take comments or criticism), or any other posts regarding the off-topic mess on this thread, start a new thread. This one is finished.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Guidelines. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..

Capture.JPG

I Understand...