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Drunk Monkey Sentenced To Life Behind Bars

Salty Dog

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Salty Dog

Drunk Monkey Sentenced To Life Behind Bars After Attacking 250 Humans, Leaving One Victim Dead



Ever heard of a monkey sentenced to life in prison? One alcoholic monkey will spend his life behind bars after attacking over 250 people, leaving one dead.

The monkey, Kalua, was formerly a pet of an occultist who fed him hard liquor at his home, in India.

However, after his owner died, the alcoholic animal couldn’t get a regular supply of liquor as he used to.

So he began prowling the streets in a furious rage.

He targeted women and girls in particular, with dozens of children left needing surgery after he ripped open their faces.

The Monkey Has Since Been Caught


After eluding trappers in the forests, the monkey’s frantic biting spree finally came to an end when authorities captured him. The officers then placed the animal in Kanpur Zoological Park.

But it was only after hundreds of people were savagely bitten or mutilated. One of Kalua’s 250 biting victims died, according to reports.

While on observation, zookeepers discovered that Kalua wasn’t only an alcoholic, but he also refused to eat vegetables.

Zoologists now believe the occultist must have also fed the monkey meat.

Even more disturbing, they believe it’s likely the owner fed Kalua monkey meat daily.

According to The New York Post, the experts in charge are reasonably confident that the sudden lack of meat impacted Kalua’s aggression, just as the disappearance of his regular drinks.


The experts also noted the monkey had a propensity for attacking female zookeepers. He would even attack other monkeys who were in the same cage.

The Monkey Will Now Spend The Rest Of His Life In ‘Prison’

Due to his aggressive behavior, the officers decided to lock Kalua in a cage at the zoo for the rest of his days.

The zoo doctor Mohd Nasir told media outlets:

“We kept him in isolation for some months and then shifted him to a separate cage.”

“There has been no change in his behavior, and he remains as aggressive as he was… He will remain in captivity all his life.”

While it’s unclear how his occultist owner died, the monkey has clearly had trouble adapting to his new life.

Not even the cage keeper has gained enough trust yet to befriend the unwillingly sober monkey.

The decision to keep Kalua in solitary confinement comes a mere month after free-roaming monkeys in Meerut, near Delhi, barreled into the campus of a medical college and stole coronavirus-positive blood samples.



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I have to observe that Kalua's qualifications place him squarely within the spectrum needed to start an expat youtube channel. (not implying anything about any LinC members who have one as there are some good ones there - - more drawing parallels with some of the bad ones out there) 

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Salty Dog

Not the monkey in the OP...


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I'm sorely tempted to start a GoFundMe page to get that fellow primate his libations. I reckon we're distantly related.

Edited by BossHog
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Perhaps there are some AA meetings close by where the little feller can get some help.

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