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exploringlife2

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exploringlife2

I met a Filipina who I like. She is separated with a foreigner who she has a baby with. He told her if she wants a divorce she can pay for it herself. Only communication is in regards to their child. His mother pays her support for the child monthly.

Is it dangerous for me to get involved in this situation? Is it difficult for her to get a divorce/annulment?

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Davaoeno

He sounds bitter. Possibly he has good reason. If it were me I would want to find out why. 

Watch out you can be charged with adultery  ie having sex with a married woman .

Find out if his name is on the birth cert- that can cause you problems

Forget annulment- it's almost impossible in this situation. Your only option is for him to get a divorce in the US  or to do Sharia divorce in Cotabato.    If he is willing to do a do-it-yourself cheap divorce in the US I suggest you go that route and pay for it

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exploringlife2

I do not think he is willing to anything. He has returned to his home with no date of returning.

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shadow
20 minutes ago, exploringlife2 said:

I do not think he is willing to anything. He has returned to his home with no date of returning.

Then her options are very limited. I agree with Davao's post on all counts. 

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Headshot
3 hours ago, exploringlife2 said:

I met a Filipina who I like. She is separated with a foreigner who she has a baby with. He told her if she wants a divorce she can pay for it herself. Only communication is in regards to their child. His mother pays her support for the child monthly.

Is it dangerous for me to get involved in this situation? Is it difficult for her to get a divorce/annulment?

The answers to your questions are YES and YES. How dangerous depends how the husband and the family reacts to your relationship. There is no divorce in the Philippines, and an annulment will cost 200,000 to 300,000 pesos and take two to three years IF both parties are agreeable. It doesn't sound like the husband is agreeable to anything.

On the other hand, it isn't likely that you will be charged with adultery if the husband has returned to his home country with no intention to return. Adultery is a crime IF the husband (usually Filipino) brings charges in the Philippines. If the husband  never plans to return to the Philippines (as she says), then it isn't likely that he would ever press charges, since he would have to be in-country to do so. That said, a Brit who was in a similar situation with a "separated" Filipina just got out of jail after several years behind bars. Her husband WAS willing to press charges.

So, can you have a relationship with this woman? Yes, but there are risks, and the relationship can never amount to anything more than a temporary live-in thing unless the husband is cooperative. How do you think your being around might affect the child support she is receiving if the MIL finds out about what is going on?

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exploringlife2

Thanks, I will move on.

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Davaoeno
37 minutes ago, Headshot said:

 There is no divorce in the Philippines,

 relationship can never amount to anything more than a temporary live-in thing 

I totally disagree with these 2 points. There most certainly is divorce if you proceed in the right way.

Also there is no reason stated that would lead one to the conclusion that you cant live together on a permanent basis- many people do it

I also disagree with the contention that because the husband is a foreigner you dont have to worry adultery- there are just not enough facts given to come to that conclusion.

Walk away?? Do you love her or not?  If you do then I suggest you dont have enough info to make that decision. 

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maximian
2 hours ago, Headshot said:

That said, a Brit who was in a similar situation with a "separated" Filipina just got out of jail after several years behind bars. Her husband WAS willing to press charges.

Thats news to me.

Who was the British guy and where was he held? 

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Headshot
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Davaoeno said:

I totally disagree with these 2 points. There most certainly is divorce if you proceed in the right way.

Also there is no reason stated that would lead one to the conclusion that you cant live together on a permanent basis- many people do it

I also disagree with the contention that because the husband is a foreigner you dont have to worry adultery- there are just not enough facts given to come to that conclusion.

Walk away?? Do you love her or not?  If you do then I suggest you dont have enough info to make that decision. 

Sorry Ian, but I would like you to show us where there is divorce in the Philippines (other than for Muslims). Besides Muslims, the rest of the population is stuck with the annulment laws. It is neither cheap nor easy.

As for the husband being a threat, I didn't say that he isn't. I said that he would have to return to the Philippines to file a charge, since they don't take charges filed from overseas. The wife said he will not return to the Philippines. It all comes down to whether the OP trusts the woman, and whether she really knows what she is talking about (that the husband won't come back).

Edited by Headshot

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shadow
29 minutes ago, maximian said:

Thats news to me.

Who was the British guy and where was he held? 

Google "David Scott adultery". How could anyone here not know of this case? It's been news for over a decade.

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shadow
27 minutes ago, Headshot said:

Sorry Ian, but I would like you to show us where there is divorce in the Philippines (other than for Muslims). Besides Muslims, the rest of the population is stuck with the annulment laws. It is neither cheap nor easy.

As for the husband being a threat, I didn't say that he isn't. I said that he would have to return to the Philippines to file a charge, since they don't take charges filed from overseas. The wife said he will not return to the Philippines. It all comes down to whether the OP trusts the woman, and whether she really knows what she is talking about (that the husband won't come back).

I know of these "divorces". They involve converting to Muslim for the purpose of divorce, and a few have successfully done it. We had one of those success stories as a client, the US embassy refused to honor it as legal, as they did not have enough proof that they married as Muslims.  They ruled that in order to divorce as Muslim, they had to have been married as Muslim.  As far as living in the Philippines was concerned, it appeared legal. As far as this client was concerned, it was a waste of about $6000 and a year of BS for nothing.

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maximian
Posted (edited)

 

37 minutes ago, shadow said:

Google "David Scott adultery". How could anyone here not know of this case? It's been news for over a decade.

Yes i know about David Scott, but according to headshot the guy spent several years behind bars which is not true.

I think at the most it was a weekend.  

Edited by maximian

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seanm

Crazy situation. I would definitely be hesitant, but if I truly had feelings for the girl I would pursue them slowly. 

 

I would hope that the father would somehow enter back into the picture...... for the child, unless you as the new boyfriend are gungho on raising a kid.  

 

With the mother of the guy paying the child support, I would say it is likely that the father re-enters the situation at some point in some capacity. 

 

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Headshot
1 hour ago, maximian said:

Yes i know about David Scott, but according to headshot the guy spent several years behind bars which is not true.

I think at the most it was a weekend.  

You are right. I got it wrong on how long they were in jail. He bribed their way out of jail "on bail." However, he put himself through a world of shit because he had relations with a married woman. They were basically hiding in the jungle, fleeing the country (bribing immigration officers to let them leave the Philippines), and then staying in a third country (Thailand) basically without legal status (in limbo) all because he didn't know the laws of the Philippines. It still took them a long time and a lot of hassle to get it straightened out. It was very lucky for them that the British government eventually bent their own rules to let his girlfriend enter Britain.

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