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Daisy

The heart of a Filipina

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Paddy

Daisy - you lay out a description of a person who is happy in their work and content with their personal lifestyle. Will this work and lifestyle (which I assume includes long periods of separation from your husband and family - and suffering Chicago winters!😀) achieve your life’s objectives? 

If yes, then the only discussion is whether your current course is the best of the available courses for you. 

If no, then you have some re-evaluating to do. 

I met a number of OFW Filipinas in Canada. One of them managed to get to the point where she had her husband and son with her and had achieved a “normal” Canadian lifestyle. The others seemed destined to have to be content with their lot and hope that Immigration Canada didn’t eventually turn down a work permit renewal...

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Headshot
3 hours ago, Paddy said:

Daisy - you lay out a description of a person who is happy in their work and content with their personal lifestyle. Will this work and lifestyle (which I assume includes long periods of separation from your husband and family - and suffering Chicago winters!😀) achieve your life’s objectives?

Daisy went to the US on a widow's visa (her husband was a US citizen). Therefore, she is separated from her husband regardless of where she is. Daisy is a long-time member of LinC Forums, and she is friends with many of our members. After her husband died, many of us encouraged her to go to the US, as she had no real means of support in the Philippines. She took the advice (and help from some of our members) and went to the US. I have no doubt that she makes friends wherever she goes due to her outlook and personality. It sounds like she is happy with her decision.

Edited by Headshot
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Paddy
17 minutes ago, Headshot said:

sounds like she is happy with her decision.

Thank you @Headshot for the additional background. 

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Daisy
11 hours ago, Headshot said:

Daisy went to the US on a widow's visa (her husband was a US citizen). Therefore, she is separated from her husband regardless of where she is. Daisy is a long-time member of LinC Forums, and she is friends with many of our members. After her husband died, many of us encouraged her to go to the US, as she had no real means of support in the Philippines. She took the advice (and help from some of our members) and went to the US. I have no doubt that she makes friends wherever she goes due to her outlook and personality. It sounds like she is happy with her decision.

Thanks and I really appreciate it Headshot. Yes I am happy and here in the US with my work because I always love being with people even if they have some medical challenges. I embrace life everyday with thanksgiving and gratitude. I also would like to tell everyone that  while I'm here I am paying Alan's medical bill amounting to 875 00 pesos plus interest of 87,500 pesos. that was accumulated for 3 years. For me that's a huge amount of money but I don't have regrets because I did it knowing that my husband before leaving me for good and that was exactly 12 years marriage was happy and I was his last glimpsed....with that I would like to I made him very special among the Expats here hehehehe😋 Did I fall in love again here? YES but apparently for the wrong person ( seen in my other topic). Am I discourage? NO. Somewhere and somehow someone out there is and will be the best person for me. #Godstime #Godsway #wait....

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savarity
But if we all just look after # 1..  what kind of world would it be?  The world needs..  desperately needs..  people who are selfless..  and yet..  every time I encounter them..  I wonder if they are also looking out for #1.
Seems like an ideal world. One where everyone was responsible and took care of themselves.

Oh, I don't mean that to sound harsh, but just that some people prey on the selfless to take advantage, such as in the 'loan' critique above.
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seanm
Posted (edited)

It is an incredibly difficult situation an OFW (or even someone who works in the Philippines and is successful) finds oneself in!

I would guess the average family size in the Philippines is maybe 4 children, so an ofw would have, let's say, 3 siblings. 

With these 3 siblings here is a likely conservative scenario from my experience.....

One of the sisters is a single mother who still lives with the parents and has no work (or maybe very little work), she gets by with money from the government or some type of part time work possibly. 

One of the brothers is married with kids and lives in a different house close by. He can't help support the family (as his wife probably doesn't work for some reason..... she has to be around all the time and can't work because she has to feed the kids lunch during their lunch break or something.... which I will never understand! Just give the kids a sack lunch!)

The other brother is single and works, but the wage is so meager he can't really give much to the family. He probably lives with the parents as well.  

The father of the ofw works, but he also makes a very small wage. 

The mother of the ofw might work (maybe a 20%-30%ish chance), but if she does her salary is most like very small as well. 

 

So essentially you have.....

A father who is not making enough (maybe enough to support just himself)

A mother who is not making enough (not enough to support herself)

A single mom who is making very little (not enough to support her or her child)

A brother who is making very little (enough to pay an electricity bill / cell phone bill) 

A little kid who has no ability to make money. 

A brother with his own family that he needs to support

 

So we have 5 people in a house and maybe we have enough money to support 4 of them, but probably closer to 3. 

This is where the OFW comes in and has to make up that difference. Very hard to save a lot when you are supporting essentially 3 people (yourself plus two other family members) unless you are making a nice salary. And while the average OFW salary is way better than the average salary in The Philippines, this is probably not enough to support 3 people and save any money.    

It is sad the Philippines economy is as terrible as it is, and someday in the near future I hope to see some change, but we all know that is going to be very difficult..... especially when you have, like, dozens of extremely rich families who have been systematically keeping most residents in the same poverty levels for a very long time (all the while continuing to make a lot of money every year for their already rich families).  

 

 

Edited by seanm
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Jawny

I married a woman from a family of 12 siblings. Of those 12, only one is overseas, but not as an OFW.  Hence, I can’t counter seanm assessment with any personal knowledge.  However, I don’t think the assessment of Filipino culture being repressed by wealthy families is really correct.  My wife’s family is not affected by the lack of wealth, but rather the lack of opportunity.  Every sibling is content but does strive for a better life.  For each, that takes on a different view, since some are employed, some are jobless, some are educated and so forth. 

Their happiness comes from having a family that helps each other out, in spite of some wealthy families ignoring their plight. 

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Davaoeno
Posted (edited)
45 minutes ago, Jawny said:

 

Their happiness comes from having a family that helps each other out, in spite of some wealthy families ignoring their plight. 

That's the line that they like to use- and some even believe it. However in reality it's often a much different story  with some  members of the family living off of other members and nobody doing anything unless they make money by doing so. 

Edited by Davaoeno
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Daisy

Thanks for all the discussions and situations being presented. As to my OP I am referring to an immediate family, no siblings and parents or cousins. The money I sent to my children are for them alone. I consider them lucky and bless because my life is centered on them. And maybe now that I've done paying Alan's hospital bills. I could start investing or would try to have a life here in America. I am forever a positive person and believe that the best is yet to come. In a way I would say I am starting all over again. And if I have made it this far with 10 dollars in my wallet upon arriving here and paying almost a million pesos hospital debt. the future could be even brighter. I am wiser. smarter and yes older 😏

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