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Daisy

The heart of a Filipina

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Daisy

As I am sitting down here and watching different kind of people around me in one of the Malls  of Glenview Illinois, my work place at the moment,  I realized that Filipinos especially those who are back home are the luxkiest persos in the world. Why? Here I am. working abroad not minding of the changing seasons,  all alone and thinking on what to buy for the love ones in the Philippines, how much money to send every month. Yes it's all about them all the time.  The selflessness  of a Filipina is something that we possess uniquely. It is some times disappointing however when I look back again and see that most of the old people in here are all alone in their homes and being taken cared by their caregivers. a total stranger whom they have no choice but to get along well and literally just be dependent on us.  This is the very reason that I become passionate on what I am doing. Just to be able to share the love from within and make a difference is a bonus to the compensation that we received.  One of my clients who is one of the renowned Woman Influencer of the World among her achievements told me before  "I've never meet a Filipina who  is not excellent in her work."..for me. that was priceless.  #thinkingaloud

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to_dave007
21 minutes ago, Daisy said:

As I am sitting down here and watching different kind of people around me in one of the Malls  of Glenview Illinois, my work place at the moment,  I realized that Filipinos especially those who are back home are the luxkiest persos in the world. Why? Here I am. working abroad not minding of the changing seasons,  all alone and thinking on what to buy for the love ones in the Philippines, how much money to send every month. Yes it's all about them all the time.  The selflessness  of a Filipina is something that we possess uniquely. It is some times disappointing however when I look back again and see that most of the old people in here are all alone in their homes and being taken cared by their caregivers. a total stranger whom they have no choice but to get along well and literally just be dependent on us.  This is the very reason that I become passionate on what I am doing. Just to be able to share the love from within and make a difference is a bonus to the compensation that we received.  One of my clients who is one of the renowned Woman Influencer of the World among her achievements told me before  "I've never meet a Filipina who  is not excellent in her work."..for me. that was priceless.  #thinkingaloud

For some years I have helped various members of my wife's family here..  but when I was hospitalized..  not one helped me or my wife.

When my Canadian friend age 74 had a stroke in Cebu, not one of his Canadian children came to him.  They talked about it..  felt guilty about it.. but didn't come.

When my wife's grandmother took sick in late 2017..  her daughter (my wife's mother) helped her tirelessly for months and months until grandmothers death.  Grandmothers 2 sons..  did nothing.

I met an old Pinoy couple in one of the rural barangay in my town.. He is 78.. she 82 I think.. Living alone.  Had coffee with them one day and learned that they have 4 kids..  2 in Manila.. 2 in Bacolod.. that they see at Christmas or maybe once a year.

Selfish.. or selfless..  or what balance of the two.  One of life's difficult questions. 

Personally.. when I hear of Filipina struggling in a foreign land to support family members back here..  I wonder what help will that Filipina get when it's her time to need it.  We all know the stories..  and we all know that often times she will get very little help.

Edited by to_dave007
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Jack Rat
2 hours ago, to_dave007 said:

For some years I have helped various members of my wife's family here..  but when I was hospitalized..  not one helped me or my wife.

When my Canadian friend age 74 had a stroke in Cebu, not one of his Canadian children came to him.  They talked about it..  felt guilty about it.. but didn't come.

When my wife's grandmother took sick in late 2017..  her daughter (my wife's mother) helped her tirelessly for months and months until grandmothers death.  Grandmothers 2 sons..  did nothing.

I met an old Pinoy couple in one of the rural barangay in my town.. He is 78.. she 82 I think.. Living alone.  Had coffee with them one day and learned that they have 4 kids..  2 in Manila.. 2 in Bacolod.. that they see at Christmas or maybe once a year.

Selfish.. or selfless..  or what balance of the two.  One of life's difficult questions. 

Personally.. when I hear of Filipina struggling in a foreign land to support family members back here..  I wonder what help will that Filipina get when it's her time to need it.  We all know the stories..  and we all know that often times she will get very little help.

Now where have I heard this story many times before?   Moto of story, look after number one, and beware of bludgers!

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to_dave007
28 minutes ago, Jack Rat said:

Now where have I heard this story many times before?   Moto of story, look after number one, and beware of bludgers!

But if we all just look after # 1..  what kind of world would it be?  The world needs..  desperately needs..  people who are selfless..  and yet..  every time I encounter them..  I wonder if they are also looking out for #1.

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Jack Rat
34 minutes ago, to_dave007 said:

But if we all just look after # 1..  what kind of world would it be?  The world needs..  desperately needs..  people who are selfless..  and yet..  every time I encounter them..  I wonder if they are also looking out for #1.

All I am saying is that many Filipinos can sense weakness from a mile away and they will take full advantage of the situation. Often If one refuses to give a loan (usually never paid back) one will be seen as the mean, tight guy, but they will get eventually get over it. If one has loaned a relative dosh and the debt has not been repaid, when the next relative asks for a loan tell them, not a problem, but contact the person who owes you, and ask them for the money, they can then have the loan. It's all a game.....Believe me mate years ago I too was sucked in but it didn't take me long to learn, never loan money to 'anyone' including foreigners! 

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user333
11 hours ago, Daisy said:

The selflessness  of a Filipina is something that we possess uniquely.

That is a big stretch. 

In Germany, Spanish workers make up 61 percent of all recruited caregivers; Polish, 19 percent and Croatians, 16 percent. Non-EU workers in Germany mostly come from Bosnia and Herzegovina, Ukraine, Russia, China and the Philippines. 

https://www.dw.com/en/germany-is-desperately-seeking-caregivers/a-18491213

So only the Philippines has selfless workers? 

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Bama
16 hours ago, user333 said:

That is a big stretch. 

Most of what she posted was a big stretch, IMO.

Quote

 I realized that Filipinos especially those who are back home are the luxkiest persos in the world. 

 

Hard for me to reconcile this statement, when thousands of (Lucky) Filipinos are qued up for years in the immigration paperwork shuffle desperate to get to the US,OZ,EU,etc for just a chance at better future. Just my opinion.

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Daisy
50 minutes ago, user333 said:

That is a big stretch. 

In Germany, Spanish workers make up 61 percent of all recruited caregivers; Polish, 19 percent and Croatians, 16 percent. Non-EU workers in Germany mostly come from Bosnia and Herzegovina, Ukraine, Russia, China and the Philippines. 

https://www.dw.com/en/germany-is-desperately-seeking-caregivers/a-18491213

So only the Philippines has selfless workers? 

Hello there. I am not oarticular talking about caregiving. I am refering to us Filipinos who work hard abroad and send almost everything back home because of the live of their love ones.  We can live simplest lifestyle in here and yet pamper our families home....though Im sure there are exceptions because there are also Filipinos who works abroad and after several years will just abandon their families and live the way they wanted . Thanks for your reply.

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Daisy
7 hours ago, Jack Rat said:

All I am saying is that many Filipinos can sense weakness from a mile away and they will take full advantage of the situation. Often If one refuses to give a loan (usually never paid back) one will be seen as the mean, tight guy, but they will get eventually get over it. If one has loaned a relative dosh and the debt has not been repaid, when the next relative asks for a loan tell them, not a problem, but contact the person who owes you, and ask them for the money, they can then have the loan. It's all a game.....Believe me mate years ago I too was sucked in but it didn't take me long to learn, never loan money to 'anyone' including foreigners! 

Im sorry for your personal experiences on loans. I started this topic based on my own personal experience here and also to what I have observe in all my friends here who are unselfishly pampering their love ones in the Philippines. Please take note on the way I started this topic. "Filipinos who have families working abroad..." Thanks

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Daisy
11 hours ago, to_dave007 said:

For some years I have helped various members of my wife's family here..  but when I was hospitalized..  not one helped me or my wife.

When my Canadian friend age 74 had a stroke in Cebu, not one of his Canadian children came to him.  They talked about it..  felt guilty about it.. but didn't come.

When my wife's grandmother took sick in late 2017..  her daughter (my wife's mother) helped her tirelessly for months and months until grandmothers death.  Grandmothers 2 sons..  did nothing.

I met an old Pinoy couple in one of the rural barangay in my town.. He is 78.. she 82 I think.. Living alone.  Had coffee with them one day and learned that they have 4 kids..  2 in Manila.. 2 in Bacolod.. that they see at Christmas or maybe once a year.

Selfish.. or selfless..  or what balance of the two.  One of life's difficult questions. 

Personally.. when I hear of Filipina struggling in a foreign land to support family members back here..  I wonder what help will that Filipina get when it's her time to need it.  We all know the stories..  and we all know that often times she will get very little help.

Yes, I know what you mean,  and this is so hard most of the time. This is the reason that others have learned their lessons are now more smarter than before....Even before I was still married I never consider my husband. to be my source of living 100 percent. I am sorry for your personal experiences that led to your disapppintment in my fellow Filipinos...all in all we just have to be careful and learned our lessons along the way..

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Headshot
6 minutes ago, Daisy said:

Hello there. I am not oarticular talking about caregiving. I am refering to us Filipinos who work hard abroad and send almost everything back home because of the live of their love ones.  We can live simplest lifestyle in here and yet pamper our families home....though Im sure there are exceptions because there are also Filipinos who works abroad and after several years will just abandon their families and live the way they wanted . Thanks for your reply.

What you are doing is laudable. However, I certainly hope that you are stashing money into savings and investments for your own future as well as taking care of those back in the Philippines. If you don't, nobody back in the Philippines will do it for you. My wife and I help her family, but not to the point where it hurts our own future.

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to_dave007
17 minutes ago, Daisy said:

I am sorry for your personal experiences that led to your disapppintment in my fellow Filipinos...

Please don't take that away from what I've said..  I have MANY personal experiences with Filipino that are VERY positive.  I do not express disappointment in any general way about every Filipino.  There's always good and bad, in every culture.

BUT I agree with Headshots comment in the previous post.  By all means help your family.. but not to the point where it hurts your own future.

Edited by to_dave007
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Jack Rat
56 minutes ago, Daisy said:

Im sorry for your personal experiences on loans. I started this topic based on my own personal experience here and also to what I have observe in all my friends here who are unselfishly pampering their love ones in the Philippines. Please take note on the way I started this topic. "Filipinos who have families working abroad..." Thanks

You are right, Filipinos should be commended and praised for the care and respect they show for their elderly. Something some in other countries could learn from.

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lamoe
1 hour ago, Bama said:

Most of what she posted was a big stretch, IMO.

Hard for me to reconcile this statement, when thousands of (Lucky) Filipinos are qued up for years in the immigration paperwork shuffle desperate to get to the US,OZ,EU,etc for just a chance at better future. Just my opinion.

They are in those lines for 2 reasons

No work here and ingrained obligation to family.

In Tata's family it was brother - seaman and her -  house worker

We had a Filipino member who posted about his experience with his family and how he finally said enough is enough

16 minutes ago, to_dave007 said:

  By all means help your family.. but not to the point where it hurts your own future.

Very very true - I have met / chatted with several ladies who were / are OFWs

Tata - 14 years - starting at 18 (nanny / chief for families in Dubai and Tokyo) - always sent most of her money home - did save a little (very little by our standards) - has SS account which I keep up along with Phil Health, all other bills and matching of funds from siblings (no not 1/2 them   1/2 me) to parents.

The selflessness I've seen can be a very bad life choice for them, if , when the time comes their family does not reciprocate - even then, their social life while working can be severally restricted - depending on where they work and the prejudices they face when out in public.

One working in Dubai  - 8 years? as  shop manager at golf course - to support her daughters and rest of the family - nothing saved for herself

Was shown on phone Skype that she  had to have male escorts every time she ventured out from the employee's compound and ALWAYS stayed in a group :sad_01:.

Daisy on the other hand is fortunate? to be in Chicago (other than the winters:snowflakes:) in that there is a large Filipino community there - even in Rockford - and American men are naturally drawn to attractive, personable ladies who don't feel they have to dominate the relationship          (all the time:db:)

42 minutes ago, Jack Rat said:

You are right, Filipinos should be commended and praised for the care and respect they show for their elderly. Something some in other countries could learn from.

From  first hand experience - even those who are not "their" elderly

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Daisy
10 hours ago, lamoe said:

They are in those lines for 2 reasons

No work here and ingrained obligation to family.

In Tata's family it was brother - seaman and her -  house worker

We had a Filipino member who posted about his experience with his family and how he finally said enough is enough

Very very true - I have met / chatted with several ladies who were / are OFWs

Tata - 14 years - starting at 18 (nanny / chief for families in Dubai and Tokyo) - always sent most of her money home - did save a little (very little by our standards) - has SS account which I keep up along with Phil Health, all other bills and matching of funds from siblings (no not 1/2 them   1/2 me) to parents.

The selflessness I've seen can be a very bad life choice for them, if , when the time comes their family does not reciprocate - even then, their social life while working can be severally restricted - depending on where they work and the prejudices they face when out in public.

One working in Dubai  - 8 years? as  shop manager at golf course - to support her daughters and rest of the family - nothing saved for herself

Was shown on phone Skype that she  had to have male escorts every time she ventured out from the employee's compound and ALWAYS stayed in a group :sad_01:.

Daisy on the other hand is fortunate? to be in Chicago (other than the winters:snowflakes:) in that there is a large Filipino community there - even in Rockford - and American men are naturally drawn to attractive, personable ladies who don't feel they have to dominate the relationship          (all the time:db:)

From  first hand experience - even those who are not "their" elderly

In Chicago and its suburbs caregivers are well paid and the job is well respected just like other medical field. I usually work as a stay in caregiver because I dont drive so I am being provided with a cosy living arrangement with TV in my bedroom and wifi and own Bathroom. Dont need to clean up because a housekeeper is coming every week or every other week. I have a rewarding job and I always give my best to whoever my client will be. "If you give love, you can't get wrong with it and the employer has no choice but to give it back to you"....just my way❤....oh yes the winter. 😭😤🔥

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