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It’s not just foreigners who are expected to splash the cash

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JamesMusslewhite
54 minutes ago, Davaoeno said:

I would be interested in knowing how you set that up because I would like to do that myself. 

I was told that I could only get a mortgage through my wife and then only if the land title was in her name

I think perhaps the hose is actually located in Texas, not here in the Philippines.

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to_dave007
1 hour ago, Davaoeno said:

I would be interested in knowing how you set that up because I would like to do that myself. 

I was told that I could only get a mortgage through my wife and then only if the land title was in her name

I think he's in USA..  from his post sounds like it

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lamoe
4 hours ago, bigpearl said:

Great input from all and many valid observations as well as actions. Helped open my eyes a little wider to not only what is expected with the Filipino cultural norms but also how other couples deal with finances and communication. All taken on board, thanks guys.

Cheers, Steve.

As was said - not all families look at us as ATMs - learned some local customs last week.

We were going to go to her nephew's graduation last Friday (leave Thursday) then got word 'grannie' (not real grandmother) died Sunday morning - she wanted to go to funereal - left on Monday

We discussed it and decided to get the Pandesals on Colon, also some spaghetti fixings on sale at Metro, then flowers at Carbon on way to ferry - her sister couldn't go - asked us to pick up some for her.  I didn't ask - when she buys something without me being there at Carbon = much lower price - tells me -  ours was  P750 - huge on stand 

Sister's husband  paid back their flower cost as soon as we arrived.

Took as many as would fit into mulicab to the vigil - couldn't stay  - house out in a field / swamp  - same next day except they all stayed overnight.

Went to Mass and funereal - her sister's and ours were only arrangements 

After funereal they handed out bread and fruit drink packs - when most were done I started picking up trash - parents told kids to help - then they burned it and people jumped / walked over the fire.

She went to graduation of Friday - on Saturday sister was taking everyone to swimming pool.

Found out my we bought spaghetti - our contribution to pool food

Again overloaded - very close at 4 J's Resort - rather nice pool

11 adults - 5 kids - 2 babies - total in 2 mulitcabs - 'OK if we pay for ourselves?' P100 each.

Total cost was P1950 for everyone and cabana.

Gave her P1k to give to sister on the side.

Stayed a week total - was never asked for money of any kind - fixed up our BR they way we wanted it while there - one of the boys helped a lot - wouldn't take money so bought him some clothes and Sprite at market.

 

 

 

 

 

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JamesMusslewhite
5 hours ago, bigpearl said:

Great input from all and many valid observations as well as actions. Helped open my eyes a little wider to not only what is expected with the Filipino cultural norms but also how other couples deal with finances and communication. All taken on board, thanks guys.

Cheers, Steve.

Very true, but best to heed failures as warnings, and successes as worthy advice. So men with 3 or more divorces, are perhaps not the best at giving advice on successful long-term relationships. Just saying. :thumbsup:

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JamesMusslewhite
2 hours ago, JamesMusslewhite said:

I think perhaps the hose is actually located in Texas, not here in the Philippines.

Wow that typo could easily mistaken as insulting, so please let me clarify, that was suppose to read as 'house' not 'hose'. :biggrin_01:

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JamesMusslewhite

   My wife and I have been here 12 years now (married 33 years) so I have learned the families are as diverse as they are dysfunctional. They are tight-nit and strive hard to maintain a smile through diversity. As a culture they are one of the few which never waged war on their neighboring countries, and are quick to forgive those that oppress them. They are born and die in a culture of being exploited by others, with few ways to escape their harsh reality. The 333 years of the colonial Spanish culture of controlling Dons and Donas, combined by an exploitative Vatican control, leaves them little and demands far too much. Desperation can cloud one's sense of morality, just as it can corrupt one's soul. As all men are flawed beings, weaknesses cloud better judgement.  

   But the 'Pinoy culture' is what which molded that woman whom you are dating or married. Those in-laws are the blood-realities of your children. Whether you approve of it or not you have a moral obligation to help them when you can. Now this does not mean you are to be allowed to be taken advantage of by cheats and scams, only that you help in ways that you can. There are simply too many churches not to know of the Commandments, so they are fully aware of the weight of their actions. You love the sinner, but can hate the sin, as you can reject a sinner who is unrepentant. So the cheats and scammer can be turned  away, rejected and denied as long as they remain unrepentant. A man is expected to work for his meals. 

  'For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone's bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you.'' 

   So help those in genuine need. The weak, sick and feeble. Those who are lazy, shiftless and falsely entitled? Turn you back until they are truly repentant and change their ways. And if they starve? The fault is sorely theirs.      

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lamoe
3 hours ago, JamesMusslewhite said:

Wow that typo could easily mistaken as insulting, so please let me clarify, that was suppose to read as 'house' not 'hose'. :biggrin_01:

Be forwarned you could be exhibitinng the initiial symptooms of lamoe syndrome :shocked:

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JamesMusslewhite
15 minutes ago, lamoe said:

Be forwarned you could be exhibitinng the initiial symptooms of lamoe syndrome :shocked:

   I could just see myself walking blissfully along in a Cebu mall, when a man steps forward clocking me with a right-hook, and as I lay in a daze I hear these endearing words, ''Call me a hose, you frigging pecker-head!'' As a Texan I know my people, so best to rectify the mistake now, as to prevent possible loose teeth in the future.

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Salty Dog
Posted (edited)

Let's keep the religious discussion out of this topic as much as possible. There are many different religious views and even more of those on the forum that are non-believers...

I know religion is a big part of Filipino culture. It can be hard not to mention religion when discussing its historical and current context, which is acceptable to a point. However, preaching and religious discussions in general are not allowed on the open forum and not wanted by many members.

 

Edited by Salty Dog
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SkyMan
21 hours ago, JamesMusslewhite said:

Wow that typo could easily mistaken as insulting, so please let me clarify, that was suppose to read as 'house' not 'hose'. :biggrin_01:

We knew what you meant.  Now, if you'd have said hoser, well........

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