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CluelessAmi

Would love to get your guys' perspective on this situation

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CluelessAmi

I don't have much familiarity with dating filipinas, and I am a rank beginner as far as their customs, etc.  I am an American who has been there (Makati and Cebu) on a couple of business trips. 

I met a girl on my last trip and I really like her.  One thing that struck me as a little odd was, the background of her pics was always really nice.  Unlike the filipinas I talked to online, here is a girl who is well dressed and obviously lives in a modern, tidy place.  No makeup ever; just natural good looks.  Anyhow, that all seems like a good thing. 

She's in college in Cebu.

But there's one odd thing that I've found out, and I don't see why this would be normal: she is roommates with her "boss", a 63 year old Texan.  They live on Mactan.  Okay, so far maybe that's not too odd.  But as I've gotten to know her more, more and more stuff seems strange to me.  E.g., it has come out that said employer has (for a few weeks) sort of -- according to her -- adopted her as his daughter. The guy is building a restaurant from the ground up in Lapa-Lapu, and he leased the land and has commenced building.  But, since he's foreign, he needed a local to sign the lease.  He got the girl to sign it.  She also works for him, I guess renting out some AirBnB-type condos he owns there.  He apparently supports her quite freely.  On my dates with her, she was quick to pay for some stuff, and never seems the least bit concerned about money ... quite the opposite of what I gather is normal for most filipinas.

It's a little weird.  I like her a lot.  But she calls about 50 times a day (no exaggeration!), and makes a lot of videos and such right there in their apartment (I gather the guy is away for a couple weeks).  Some just talking; some very sexy; some teary and emotional.  I have heard that filipinas fall quickly and hard, and maybe that's all it is.

It seems to me this is either a really good thing or a really bad thing.  She doesn't need any support, and seems crazy about me, and is really attractive and fun -- nothing wrong with that picture.  On the other hand, there must be something going on between her and the old guy, no?  ... why would he freely support her just for the sake of having a daughter-figure around?  ... why would she have signed a 10-year lease hoping that this old dude will make the payments but risking big problems if he doesn't?

I'd be interested if any of you guys would offer an opinion.  Is that normal over there?  Does it seem like some sort of scam?  Should I just throw this one back? 

(I know it sounds kinda bizarre, but the above is pretty much all I know.)

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RogerDuMond

I won't comment on her living arrangement because none of us can say with any authority what his or her intentions are and anyone who does try to pontificate is just blowing smoke. That being said, there are a few things that you said that don't ring true.

1. A foreigner can sign a lease on property without needing a Filipino.

2. A foreigner can also build on the property and own the building.

3. A ten year lease for a business makes no sense. Why would anyone lease property for ten years and build on it when they could write the lease for 25 years?

4. The only thing he would need her for is the paperwork for the business because he can't be the sole owner of the business.

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jtmwatchbiz
7 hours ago, CluelessAmi said:

I'd be interested if any of you guys would offer an opinion.

my opinion is,  and with all due respect,   that you seem to be over-generalizing with your views on Philippine women.   once you spend more time here then perhaps you can start viewing each person you meet as an individual.  

you may also consider a bit more discretion when talking/suspiciously pointing out certain aspects about this gal and her personal situation as most likely it's perfectly fine.  since this is a very popular public site there is a good chance someone may recognize something relating to the circumstances and restaurant construction/businesses on mactan that she and her boss are involved in and risk needlessly embarrassing these people. 

30 minutes ago, RogerDuMond said:

That being said, there are a few things that you said that don't ring true.

1. A foreigner can sign a lease on property without needing a Filipino.

2. A foreigner can also build on the property and own the building.

3. A ten year lease for a business makes no sense. Why would anyone lease property for ten years and build on it when they could write the lease for 25 years?

4. The only thing he would need her for is the paperwork for the business because he can't be the sole owner of the business.

and i will further add that how is any of this any business of the OP or ours for that matter? 

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SkyMan

Roger is correct on all 4 counts.  Why a 10 year lease? 

As for her relationship with him, it could be fine.  Have you seen him online? Talked to him? Or is he always conveniently not around? Has she ever mentioned the boss being married or having a gf? Could be just easier to have his employee near due to the nature of the business. 

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jtmwatchbiz
6 minutes ago, SkyMan said:

Roger is correct on all 4 counts.  Why a 10 year lease? 

As for her relationship with him, it could be fine.  Have you seen him online? Talked to him? Or is he always conveniently not around? Has she ever mentioned the boss being married or having a gf? Could be just easier to have his employee near due to the nature of the business. 

sorry but i have to again say in my opinion this is all out of bounds and none of our business. 

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SkyMan

Opinion noted

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Jawny
16 hours ago, CluelessAmi said:

I don't have much familiarity with dating filipinas, and I am a rank beginner as far as their customs, etc.  I am an American who has been there (Makati and Cebu) on a couple of business trips. 

I met a girl on my last trip and I really like her.  One thing that struck me as a little odd was, the background of her pics was always really nice.  Unlike the filipinas I talked to online, here is a girl who is well dressed and obviously lives in a modern, tidy place.  No makeup ever; just natural good looks.  Anyhow, that all seems like a good thing. 

She's in college in Cebu.

But there's one odd thing that I've found out, and I don't see why this would be normal: she is roommates with her "boss", a 63 year old Texan.  They live on Mactan.  Okay, so far maybe that's not too odd.  But as I've gotten to know her more, more and more stuff seems strange to me.  E.g., it has come out that said employer has (for a few weeks) sort of -- according to her -- adopted her as his daughter. The guy is building a restaurant from the ground up in Lapa-Lapu, and he leased the land and has commenced building.  But, since he's foreign, he needed a local to sign the lease.  He got the girl to sign it.  She also works for him, I guess renting out some AirBnB-type condos he owns there.  He apparently supports her quite freely.  On my dates with her, she was quick to pay for some stuff, and never seems the least bit concerned about money ... quite the opposite of what I gather is normal for most filipinas.

It's a little weird.  I like her a lot.  But she calls about 50 times a day (no exaggeration!), and makes a lot of videos and such right there in their apartment (I gather the guy is away for a couple weeks).  Some just talking; some very sexy; some teary and emotional.  I have heard that filipinas fall quickly and hard, and maybe that's all it is.

It seems to me this is either a really good thing or a really bad thing.  She doesn't need any support, and seems crazy about me, and is really attractive and fun -- nothing wrong with that picture.  On the other hand, there must be something going on between her and the old guy, no?  ... why would he freely support her just for the sake of having a daughter-figure around?  ... why would she have signed a 10-year lease hoping that this old dude will make the payments but risking big problems if he doesn't?

I'd be interested if any of you guys would offer an opinion.  Is that normal over there?  Does it seem like some sort of scam?  Should I just throw this one back? 

(I know it sounds kinda bizarre, but the above is pretty much all I know.)

I have been through the adoption process here, as a foreigner.  It is not especially complex, but when it involves foreigners, there are some extra bit of scrutiny as well as more costs.  Typically, the adoption will take into account the family of the child, unless the child is an orphan.  That is, the court will want to be certain parental rights are not being infringed (if that is the correct term). 

When my wife and I were interviewed, as part of the process, we needed to demonstrate we had a valid marital home.  Sorry for the odd phrasing, but essentially, the interviewer wanted to be sure the adoptive parents were compatible etc. 

i suppose it is entirely possible an unmarried individual could adopt.  I’ve not heard of this, but I didn’t see anything in the law as preventing the adoption by a single parent. 

Perhaos the OP. could ask what sort of visa her adopted father has.

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Davaoeno
1 hour ago, RogerDuMond said:

3. A ten year lease for a business makes no sense. Why would anyone lease property for ten years and build on it when they could write the lease for 25 years?

maybe it has renews built in ? we dont know.   Why commit to 25 years if you dont have to 

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Headshot

Under Philippine law,  it is only possible to adopt up to the adoptee's 18th birthday. After that, they are adults and no longer adoptable.

Quote

Republic Act No. 8552             February 25, 1998

ARTICLE III
ELIGIBILITY

Section 8. Who May Be Adopted. – The following may be adopted:

(a) Any person below eighteen (18) years of age who has been administratively or judicially declared available for adoption;

So, the question is ... was she really adopted? If so, was she under 18 when the adoption occurred? Was she declared eligible for adoption by either the courts or DSWD prior to the adoption? Or was the "adoption" just a sham coverup for an illegal business venture or some other kind of relationship?

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wondersailor

If you like this girl enough then visit. You never know what your getting online without it. If you have reservations about aspects of her stated situation a surprise visit might yield more answers.. All up to you and your feelings for her. No speculation here can replace a visit

 

 

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oztony
3 minutes ago, Headshot said:

Under Philippine law,  it is only possible to adopt up to the adoptee's 18th birthday. After that, they are adults and no longer adoptable.

So, the question is ... was she really adopted? If so, was she under 18 when the adoption occurred? Was she declared eligible for adoption by either the courts or DSWD prior to the adoption? Or was the "adoption" just a sham coverup for an illegal business venture or some other kind of relationship?

 

10 hours ago, CluelessAmi said:

E.g., it has come out that said employer has (for a few weeks) sort of -- according to her -- adopted her as his daughter.

How would you interpret that Bill (second time round that is , obviously you already read it once and didn't get it) ........

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Ozepete
15 hours ago, CluelessAmi said:

I don't have much familiarity with dating filipinas, and I am a rank beginner as far as their customs, etc.  I am an American who has been there (Makati and Cebu) on a couple of business trips. 

I met a girl on my last trip and I really like her.  One thing that struck me as a little odd was, the background of her pics was always really nice.  Unlike the filipinas I talked to online, here is a girl who is well dressed and obviously lives in a modern, tidy place.  No makeup ever; just natural good looks.  Anyhow, that all seems like a good thing. 

She's in college in Cebu.

But there's one odd thing that I've found out, and I don't see why this would be normal: she is roommates with her "boss", a 63 year old Texan.    Okay, so far maybe that's not too odd.  But as I've gotten to know her more, more and more stuff seems strange to me.  E.g., it has come out that said employer has (for a few weeks) sort of -- according to her -- adopted her as his daughter. The guy is building a restaurant from the ground up in Lapa-Lapu, and he leased the land and has commenced building.  But, since he's foreign, he needed a local to sign the lease.  He got the girl to sign it.  She also works for him, I guess renting out some AirBnB-type condos he owns there.  He apparently supports her quite freely.  On my dates with her, she was quick to pay for some stuff, and never seems the least bit concerned about money ... quite the opposite of what I gather is normal for most filipinas.

It's a little weird.  I like her a lot.  But she calls about 50 times a day (no exaggeration!), and makes a lot of videos and such right there in their apartment (I gather the guy is away for a couple weeks).  Some just talking; some very sexy; some teary and emotional.  I have heard that filipinas fall quickly and hard, and maybe that's all it is.

It seems to me this is either a really good thing or a really bad thing.  She doesn't need any support, and seems crazy about me, and is really attractive and fun -- nothing wrong with that picture.  On the other hand, there must be something going on between her and the old guy, no?  ... why would he freely support her just for the sake of having a daughter-figure around?  ... why would she have signed a 10-year lease hoping that this old dude will make the payments but risking big problems if he doesn't?

I'd be interested if any of you guys would offer an opinion.  Is that normal over there?  Does it seem like some sort of scam?  Should I just throw this one back? 

(I know it sounds kinda bizarre, but the above is pretty much all I know.)

Why did you state this? Revealing this young woman and her friends address and living arrangement is at best very poor and seems like you may be using this forum to damage another's relationship. :voodoo:

Edited by Dafey
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easy44

I didn't get the impression that the guy actually adopted her. More like he was treating her like an adopted daughter.

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Salty Dog

:ditto:

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liquido

If you care for her that much and have any doubts then I would hire the Pointman who is member on this forum to investigate the situation.....

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