Dating Etiquette/Advice?

[James Bond 4]

 

I'll be taking my first trip to the Philippines soon, hoping to find my future wife. I'll be meeting a number of girls that I've found online, some of whom I'll have chatted with a significant amount before I meet them, and perhaps others that will be more last-minute meetups. I am reading a book on Filipino culture now, but the closest it comes to dating advice is "DON’T be intimate with a woman, unless she is engaged or married to you. The conservative Filipina has reservations about intimacy, touching and the like." I wonder if that exaggerates.

So, what's appropriate in the Philippines, e.g. would a hug be an inappropriately forward first-meeting greeting?

I'm planning on meeting girls at restaurants, coffee houses, or similar.

[shadow 18,481]

9 minutes ago, James Bond said:

 

I'll be taking my first trip to the Philippines soon, hoping to find my future wife. I'll be meeting a number of girls that I've found online, some of whom I'll have chatted with a significant amount before I meet them, and perhaps others that will be more last-minute meetups. I am reading a book on Filipino culture now, but the closest it comes to dating advice is "DON’T be intimate with a woman, unless she is engaged or married to you. The conservative Filipina has reservations about intimacy, touching and the like." I wonder if that exaggerates.

So, what's appropriate in the Philippines, e.g. would a hug be an inappropriately forward first-meeting greeting?

I'm planning on meeting girls at restaurants, coffee houses, or similar.

It will depend on the girl, her age/maturity level, her upbringing, and lifestyle. Also, who else is present should be taken into consideration. In many cases it would be welcome, but more conservative views may take it offensively.

 

[Semper paratus 3,051]

Perhaps in this case take your cues from the girl/lady. Let her make the first move so to speak. Everyone is different no matter what country or culture.

Beware of lady-boys if you are unfamiliar with with that aspect.  Just something to think about. 

Best wishes,

[Jim Sibbick 1,037]

My thoughts.

in 1994, I was with an Aussie friend who had just ditched his penpal (pre internet) and was seeking some one else. This was in Palompon leyte, about 70 miles from Baybay. The first person he tried to ask without outside help said no because they were not introduced. An hour later, with introductions out of the way, he was in a new relationship with another woman. They married in July 1995 and I married her sister in June 1995.   Not sure introduction issues would happen any where now. 

By the way, after a successful first date, my Aussie friend and I went back to meet her parents. I have that meeting on video here

 

If you want to find the right one, I don't think online is the way to do it. Be introduced by some one you trust. That way you can get her history in advance without finding out about her children until after you are married. You will also know in advance if she used to be a he and any other issues.

When meeting a woman for the first time, just meet for lunch and nothing else. If you are not happy with the vibe, it is easy to move on. If you are happy with lunch, you can proceed further. maybe meet her family and sees where she lives...

After getting divorced, I used to tell the women, live in before marriage to make sure we are compatible.  I have several interesting stories. Here  are a couple that I am happy to share.

In 2005, I was swimming in the resort pool on Siquijor while waiting for the Oceanjet to Bohol. I was there with an Aussie friend and the sister of Jan Pernia, former wife of Paul Petrea. This woman swam up to me and told me she was interested in me.  She said she was 19, that her parents were at the side of the pool and would I like to meet them. She was quite beautiful. I told the parents live in before marriage to make sure we are compatible. They agreed so we went off to meet the rest of the family to make sure they were happy with me. I saw where they lived, met aunts, uncles cousins and siblings. Then within a few hours of meeting at the pool, she was with us on the boat to Tagbilaran and sleeping with me that night in the hotel. It didn't work out but afterward her sister contacted me and told me if I was not interested in her sister, she would be my girlfriend.

Also in 2005, I was swimming in the sea at Albuera, about 20 miles from Baybay. It was independence day so there were many families on the rocks. I won't call it a beach as there is no sand. But it was the by the sea. While I was swimming, this Filipina swam up to me. She might have been about 50 or so. She asked if i was single. I said I was single and looking. She then got out of the water. Within a minute or so of her getting out of the water, her whole group were looking at me. As I got out, the 50 yo woman bought over this pretty Filipina. She was a college student in Manila and was going back to Manila the next day. I agreed I would meet her in Manila. She said she would meet me at the airport. On the way, she texted and asked if it was ok if her cousin picks us up at the airport. I said Ok. So we get in her cousins van, arrive at her accommodation. Her cousin wants from memory P1000. I would have thought a relative would have picked me up for free but more than that, it would only have been a  few hundred piso trip in a taxi. I paid the P1000 and got in a taxi and left. Any woman who thinks it is ok to waste my money is not some one for me. 

These days I have decided I no longer want to be married to any one. So just have a girlfriend. We might as well be married though. We have had an on again off again relationship for 15 years. Being together for the last 4 years. 

[+Salty Dog 65,869]

The OP ask about dating etiquette. Let's keep the discussion on topic.

This topic is not how to get laid. There are plenty of other online forums for that kind of discussion.

This isn't Paul's forum any more...

[to_dave007 5,595]

2 hours ago, Jim Sibbick said:

after a successful first date, my Aussie friend and I went back to meet her parents. I have that meeting on video here

Jim.. watched your video.  Very good.. And I see you married in 1995.  Forgive me for asking, but how did it work out?

[+Salty Dog 65,869]

7 minutes ago, to_dave007 said:

Jim.. watched your video.  Very good.. And I see you married in 1995.  Forgive me for asking, but how did it work out?

He's mentioned he got divorced, many times...

[savarity 590]

I think the book you are reading is on the extremely conservative side, but just meet to chat on a first date and see if you like each other.

This is just my personal opinion, and I'm sure others will disagree, but "hugs" are how women greet or say farewell to each other. For a man, either kiss her on the cheek if things went well and the situation is relaxed, or shake hands or wave goodbye if things didn't or the situation is too formal.

[savarity 590]

If you want to find the right one, I don't think online is the way to do it. Be introduced by some one you trust. That way you can get her history in advance without finding out about her children until after you are married. You will also know in advance if she used to be a he and any other issues.

I've heard that advice before, but you should consider, that many visitors are foreigners who aren't working here and don't have any long standing ties to the Philippines. I know I don't have anyone I "trust" here, and have few options for gaining such, because I'm a foreign tourist with no work or family ties to society.

I think for many such men, online dating is the only reasonable option available. Though I'm sure other people will have different viewpoints.

[Jim Sibbick 1,037]

8 hours ago, Salty Dog said:

The OP ask about dating etiquette. Let's keep the discussion on topic.

This topic is not how to get laid. There are plenty of other online forums for that kind of discussion.

This isn't Paul's forum any more...

My posts was 100 percent on topic.  I don't appreciate spending hours writing posts only to have them deleted. If you don't think my post should stay as is, then just delete me as a member as I can't be bothered any more

[+Salty Dog 65,869]

9 hours ago, Jim Sibbick said:

...Then within a few hours of meeting at the pool, she was with us on the boat to Tagbilaran and sleeping with me that night in the hotel...

 

Yea I know this type of discussion was acceptable in the past, but no more. You either follow the rules like everyone else or don't let the door hit you in the ass...

 

[Jim Sibbick 1,037]

9 minutes ago, Salty Dog said:

 

Yea I know this type of discussion was acceptable in the past, but no more. You either follow the rules like everyone else or don't let the door hit you in the ass...

 

feck off retard , just delete me

[jtmwatchbiz 31,372]

18 hours ago, James Bond said:

 

I'll be taking my first trip to the Philippines soon, hoping to find my future wife. I'll be meeting a number of girls that I've found online, some of whom I'll have chatted with a significant amount before I meet them, and perhaps others that will be more last-minute meetups. I am reading a book on Filipino culture now, but the closest it comes to dating advice is "DON’T be intimate with a woman, unless she is engaged or married to you. The conservative Filipina has reservations about intimacy, touching and the like." I wonder if that exaggerates.

So, what's appropriate in the Philippines, e.g. would a hug be an inappropriately forward first-meeting greeting?

I'm planning on meeting girls at restaurants, coffee houses, or similar.

anyways to get back on topic...i think you will be just fine.  don't over-think this and just enjoy meeting new people.  gals aren't much different here than anywhere else.  be respectful even if you aren't interested in them and just take your time.  it's easier to meet a nice gal and potential wife as long as you have the right outlook and don't develop the "us vs. them" viewpoint.  just find someone with similar values and you're all set :)

[+Salty Dog 65,869]

22 minutes ago, Jim Sibbick said:

feck off retard , just delete me

Jim is taking a few days off from the forum...

[jtmwatchbiz 31,372]

there's hope for everyone.  when i first met my wife she was a competitor in buying watches around town and she hated me.  of course after a few years she fell for my hollywood looks and sparkling personality. 

here''s my wife when i met her 17 years ago and now present day after 14 years of marriage.   as y'all can see in the latest picture she is much more serious now as she knows since she was born with average looks she needs to dazzle me with her gourmet cooking*

 

 

*i'm sooo dead

[TequilaSunset 2,755]

^^Beautiful 

[jtmwatchbiz 31,372]

16 minutes ago, TequilaSunset said:

^^Beautiful 

thanks for cheering her up with a compliment as sometimes when she compares herself with the level of my looks she needs to soothe herself so she doesn't think too much more about it.  

 

[whatsfun 298]

19 hours ago, James Bond said:

So, what's appropriate in the Philippines, e.g. would a hug be an inappropriately forward first-meeting greeting?

I'm planning on meeting girls at restaurants, coffee houses, or similar.

Hugs are great... possible harbinger of things to come. Just keep track of your wallet (literally and figuratively)  until your big head takes over.

[oztony 36,115]

11 hours ago, Jim Sibbick said:

If you want to find the right one, I don't think online is the way to do it.

 

8 hours ago, Salty Dog said:

He's mentioned he got divorced, many times...

Well I met my wife online and have been happily married for 15 years , together 16 years..no divorce or extended separations as in Jim's experiences , so no doubt there are varying degrees of success depending on the methods ...but I think more to the point it comes down to the people involved more so than the method....

[jtmwatchbiz 31,372]

15 minutes ago, oztony said:

but I think more to the point it comes down to the people involved more so than the method....

oh absolutely.  the  method in how or where one meets another is neither here nor there as there are limitless ways and everyone will eventually succeed if they put their best foot forward and make some effort. 

[shadow 18,481]

26 minutes ago, jtmwatchbiz said:

oh absolutely.  the  method in how or where one meets another is neither here nor there as there are limitless ways and everyone will eventually succeed if they put their best foot forward and make some effort. 

I never have had a problem with putting my best foot forward...,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's that other damn foot that always gets me in trouble!

[Edwin 7,039]

If you have half a brain and aren't trying to pick the low lying fruit off the tree a dating site is a great tool. You can select age range, education level and someone with or without good writing skills, conservative or not, with or without children, etc. If you develop an online friendship that you believe might be worth exploring further there is nothing wrong with a hug upon meeting. After all you have developed enough of a friendship that you are traveling thousands of miles to see her. You should know enough from your online and FaceTime conversations how comfortable she will be and how she expects to be greeted. 

[Headshot 29,175]

We had a poll here on LinC Forums some years ago on the subject of how members met their spouse. If I remember correctly, about 90% of those who answered the poll met their spouse online, and most of those were still in happy marriages. If a guy is in the Philippines, then meeting in person (as opposed to online) is a viable method for meeting the right person, but if done properly, a lot of information can be had online. I think one of the most important things is to get off dating sites as quickly as possible and into on-camera chats for real face-to-face conversations. That will allow you to see beyond any false facade (or lies) the other person is offering fairly quickly. Of course, real live person-to-person meetings (and spending as much time together as possible) are essential before you allow the relationship to get too committed. How you meet isn't nearly as important as how you proceed after you meet.

[TequilaSunset 2,755]

• Can we post scammers on here? There's one that keeps showing up in my friend suggestions on FB, has SO MANY Profiles, different names, locations, chick is busy!!

[jtmwatchbiz 31,372]

47 minutes ago, TequilaSunset said:

• Can we post scammers on here? There's one that keeps showing up in my friend suggestions on FB, has SO MANY Profiles, different names, locations, chick is busy!!

i don't think that would go over very well since this forum isn't focused on that sort of stuff.