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aiden9991

Stay Or Leave The Philippines? Your Thoughts Please. So Confused!

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aiden9991

Admins, sorry didn't quite know where to put this , you may move it if you wish.

Hello 

I am in a super confused state right now and feel the need to vent it all out and receive some input from you more experienced gentlemen.


Firstly some background details.
Myself a British man 37 years old, married, 2 beautiful kids and been living in Cebu (Mactan/Dumanjug) for 10 years. 
I pretty much left the UK 10 years ago and have only visited the odd few times during the Christmas period and really didn't miss the UK except for family and friends and some few bits and bats. 

I have been employed locally for the past 10 years working in the BPO Industry with a stable income and good opportunities, All by the book and so on.
I love it all out here but I still feel unsettled at times and the fact always haunts me that I need to / will/ should return to the UK for children's sake. Why? Better education? correct me if i'm wrong, safety net? NHS? Less diseases ? Am i bloody thinking too much?
My kids have dual passports UK/Philippines aged 9 and 8. 

So I filed for a 6 month sabbatical and leaving the PH with kids to see how it all pans out in terms of employment and so on,
I believe I need to earn over 18,600 (annually) and can file for a visa after being employed for a period of 6 months and so on for the Mrs. 

I really don't know what is the best option, should i continue living in the PH or if you were in my shoes what would you do?

 


 

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jtmwatchbiz

i think your idea and plan is a good one.  i would say keep working on it.  

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petecebu

Hi aiden, how does your wife feel about it all?

She would have to be a major factor in the long term decision. Does she want to leave 'home' long term or is she happy to go with you and take the kids as well?

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Bama

Just my opinion.

You have lived in the PI for 10 years so you know the good,the bad,and the ugly.

I'm not familiar with the British retirement system but if you aren't getting credit for a possible Social Security benefit because you have worked in the PI for 10 years---then I would go back and satisfy that requirement.

The children's education would also be one of my concerns and would also consider what kind of career they could have in the PI or GB using that education. Just my two shillings.

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the.lone.gunman

Uprooting the wife and kids might be hard for them. Take them for a visit or two. Talk to them about it. Don’t rush. As dual passport holders they will always have options. 

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aiden9991
19 minutes ago, petecebu said:

Hi aiden, how does your wife feel about it all?

She would have to be a major factor in the long term decision. Does she want to leave 'home' long term or is she happy to go with you and take the kids as well?

My wife is so much of the passive type.  Her response is always that Both the Ph and the UK possess pro's and con's. 

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RangerUp
2 hours ago, aiden9991 said:

I pretty much left the UK 10 years ago

Since you left the UK, it has only gotten worse (much worse), while Cebu has only gotten better (except traffic). 

 

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petecebu
46 minutes ago, aiden9991 said:

My wife is so much of the passive type.  Her response is always that Both the Ph and the UK possess pro's and con's. 

That is correct regarding pros and cons but have you sat and talked about them in depth with her?

You are still fairly young compared to the majority of members here and have the world at your feet...just get it together in a decision with your wife then you both are on the same level. There are 2 kids and their future to consider in this as well. Not easy but you have to be a team and then hope no regrets on the decision you make between yourselves 

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oztony
46 minutes ago, petecebu said:

That is correct regarding pros and cons but have you sat and talked about them in depth with her?

Um..do you want to freeze your ass off for a fair chunk of the year and pay a heap more to live...or do we put up with the Cebu traffic....

I would reckon a fair bit of the decision would be weighed upon in regards to the living / accommodation arrangements in the UK ...which can be quite expensive , kids at a younger age are able to adapt pretty well to a change in environment ...a six or 12 month trial would be a great idea if you could pull it off..

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RogerDuMond
3 minutes ago, oztony said:

Um..do you want to freeze your ass off for a fair chunk of the year and pay a heap more to live...or do we put up with the Cebu traffic....

I will give no advice about moving, only a warning to be aware of. My wife had worked for three years in Guam and is an extremely strong woman, but she went through a period of almost depression. Part of it was being away from family and friends and part of it was trying to adjust to upstate New York's cold weather. I think that if you do it, an important thing will be for your wife to meet other Filipinas in the area.

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RogerDuMond

Also, your kids may have a hard time adapting to schools as they are likely to be behind kids of the same age.

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petecebu
8 minutes ago, oztony said:

Um..do you want to freeze your ass off for a fair chunk of the year and pay a heap more to live...or do we put up with the Cebu traffic....

I would reckon a fair bit of the decision would be weighed upon in regards to the living / accommodation arrangements in the UK ...which can be quite expensive , kids at a younger age are able to adapt pretty well to a change in environment ...a six or 12 month trial would be a great idea if you could pull it off..

Those are exactly some of the things, but only a few, to take into consideration. It's more than being cold, amount of traffic...it's about long term stability and peace of mind wherever you are. 

The 6 to 12 month trial would be a good idea and then give time to make the, hopefully, right choice all around for the family. The wife will know if it's better and the kids will have time to adapt to the education and also maybe say, hey dad,mama, we luv it here. 

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Bama
1 minute ago, RogerDuMond said:

Also, your kids may have a hard time adapting to schools as they are likely to be behind kids of the same age.

..........and if they stay in the Philippine school systems they are apt to stay behind and perhaps fall farther behind their English peers. How will they compete for possible careers anywhere if their schooling is substandard? My four shillings worth.

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MickyG

Not all schools in the Philippines are sub standard. My wife is a teacher here at a private school and I teach IELTS part time.

 

I have seen the books used for English, Math and Science at grade 1 and grade 3. I have no complaints. I can easily say that I do not recall the standard as being that high when I was at that age.  Clearly subjects that are centric to where one lives, like; History, Literature and Geography will be way different.

The third language from Grade 1 is Mandarin. Local language and English being the first two. Europe would be either French, Spanish and or German? Yet not for 6 year olds! Maybe English and one other at that age?  May very much depend on how you school your children. 

As for social security, that is good whilst you are alive. The last government decided to deny family benefits to your British kids overseas and widows benefit as your wife is a foreigner.

 

Returning your whole family to the UK would see reinstatement of those benefits plus child allowances.

 

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RogerDuMond
1 hour ago, Bama said:

and if they stay in the Philippine school systems they are apt to stay behind and perhaps fall farther behind their English peers.

Good plan, but it is only valid if they can catch up. My stepson was unable to and had to be home schooled.

They placed him based on his age not his ability, but then this was 25 years ago.

Philippine schools were not as good as they are now, and American schools were better than they are now.

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