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Unrealistic Expectations

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broden

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Salty Dog

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Headshot

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Kahuna

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Kahuna

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Semper paratus

 

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"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.

With that as his mission he began to search for the perfect woman.

Shortly thereafter he met a Redneck who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the Redneck and asked for permission to marry one of them.

The Redneck simply replied, " They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want."

The man dated the first daughter. The next day the Redneck asked for the man's opinion. 

"Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice ... Pigeon-toed."

The Redneck nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.

The next day, the Redneck again asked how things went. 

"Well, "the man replied, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell cross-eyed."

The Redneck nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming,

"She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry." 

So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was
The ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law and asked how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

"Well," explained the Redneck, "she was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell ......
Pregnant when you met her."

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Kahuna

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Kahuna

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Semper paratus

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Semper paratus

Beware the fortune cookie......................

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Kahuna

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Headshot

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Jim Sibbick
4 hours ago, Headshot said:

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I have normal to low cholesterol level. My doctor denied ever saying so earlier this year but about 16 or 17  years ago when I got my first cholesterol check and it was low, he said to me it is normal for fat people to have low cholesterol.

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Headshot
4 hours ago, Jim Sibbick said:

I have normal to low cholesterol level. My doctor denied ever saying so earlier this year but about 16 or 17  years ago when I got my first cholesterol check and it was low, he said to me it is normal for fat people to have low cholesterol.

You are thinking too hard about this...  This is in the Jokes and Humor Forum.

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lamoe
10 hours ago, Headshot said:

You are thinking too hard about this...  This is in the Jokes and Humor Forum.

The moral is - check first when a stranger invites you over for dinner

 

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