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Soupeod

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Soupeod

 

 

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Soupeod

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Kahuna

Ray came home one night from a long day at work, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ray.'

Ray was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

Ray was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

'Not bad,' replied Ray the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'

'Never,' said Ray.

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal. He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg - his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard.....

"Ray, wake up! You shit the bed!"

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Salty Dog

Why did the woman cross the road?

Because she'd seen other women doing it on Facebook...

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Salty Dog

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Kahuna

An 8 pointer, 4 pointer and a button buck are standing by a field browsing on acorns.

The 8 pointer says,
'I'm happy with my 10 does, we're really getting along.'

The 4 pointer says,
'I'm happy as heck with my 5, they really take care of me!'

The Button buck says,
'My two are all right, better than nothing I guess.'

Then all of a sudden a GIANT 14 pointer walks out into the field.

The three bucks had never seen anything like him before, they were in awe.

The big buck made a huge scrape and pissed in it, rubbed a tree the size of a telephone pole and snapped it off at the ground!

The three bucks looked on in amazement.

The 8 pointer says,
'I could probably get by with 4 does...........
Who really needs 10 anyway?'

The 4 pointer says,
'You know.............. come to think of it, I only really use one or two of mine!'

The button buck was silent, as the other two bucks look over to him in confusion.

Suddenly the Button buck runs out into the middle of the field!

He rips and tears up some grass........
pisses all over the place,
snorts & wheezes,
rubs his head raw on a tree,
and chews a lickin branch clean off!

Then he runs back over to his buddies.

His friends immediately ask him,
'What the heck are you doing!?'

I'm just makin' sure that big son of a gun knows I'm a buck!'

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