Jump to content
Headshot

Miscellaneous Humor

Recommended Posts

Kahuna

Grandma is 88 years old and still drives her own car. She writes to her Grand-daughter...

Dear Grand-daughter,
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker...
I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.
So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper...
Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in
thought about the Lord and how good He is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.
I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!'
'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
Everyone started honking!
I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must've been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.
He said it was probably an Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.
My grandson burst out laughing.
Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.
So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection
before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.
So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord
for such wonderful folks!!
Will write again soon,
Love,
Grandma

  • Haha 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SkyMan

image.thumb.png.097c4b2f0b906024ca0fc3e47cff2f17.png

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kahuna

67159770_2437311709671741_165754298464993280_n.jpg

  • Like 3
  • Haha 5
  • Confused 1
  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Salty Dog

21017.jpg

  • Like 5
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Topper

servalance.jpg

  • Like 3
  • Haha 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Salty Dog

21071.jpg

  • Like 2
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
cookie47

Two Australian campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a snake. “I’ll go into town for a doctor,” the other says. He runs 10 kilometres to a small town and finds that the only doctor there is delivering a baby.

“I can’t leave,” the doctor says. “But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground.”

The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. “What did the doctor say?” the victim cries.

“He says you’re gonna die.”

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Soupeod

B9642F84-2C90-49E9-A926-65C8BBD7EF52.jpeg

  • Like 3
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kahuna

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.

One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

“One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery.

He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me ...."

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend, he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!"

The man said, "Beat it, kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."

The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord...?"

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last, they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...."

They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.

  • Haha 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Salty Dog

21539.jpg

  • Haha 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Soupeod

b3.jpeg

  • Haha 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Soupeod

 

  • Like 2
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Salty Dog

21020.jpg

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
the.lone.gunman

4981074F-34AF-4A94-9E01-FF0345BC5F0C-1194-000001EA38ACFB62.thumb.jpg.a69011684f75a95d637856a93c532ea9.jpg

  • Haha 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Guidelines. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..