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cookie47

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Salty Dog

On a recent flight to Australia.
I left on a Wednesday afternoon about 12:30, got on the plane, got off and it's Friday morning. What the hell happened to Thursday?
When I left Brisbane my flight left at 06:30 on a Wednesday morning, it took exactly 24 hours but I still got back Wednesday night, what the hell happened to Thursday again?
What is it with Australians and Thursdays?

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cookie47
On a recent flight to Australia.
I left on a Wednesday afternoon about 12:30, got on the plane, got off and it's Friday morning. What the hell happened to Thursday?
When I left Brisbane my flight left at 06:30 on a Wednesday morning, it took exactly 24 hours but I still got back Wednesday night, what the hell happened to Thursday again?
What is it with Australians and Thursdays?
Its called "Too much Foster's"

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On 9/14/2018 at 7:20 PM, Salty Dog said:

On a recent flight to Australia.
I left on a Wednesday afternoon about 12:30, got on the plane, got off and it's Friday morning. What the hell happened to Thursday?
When I left Brisbane my flight left at 06:30 on a Wednesday morning, it took exactly 24 hours but I still got back Wednesday night, what the hell happened to Thursday again?
What is it with Australians and Thursdays?

Well you bastards poisoned our champion PharLap, stole our Ugg Boots and Vegemite so we steel your Thursdays to level things up a bit!:drinks:

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Salty Dog
5 minutes ago, Ozepete said:

Well you bastards poisoned our champion PharLap, stole our Ugg Boots and Vegemite so we steel your Thursdays to level things up a bit!:drinks:

I never liked Thursdays anyway...:P

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cookie47

Good news OZEPETE.



ACQUIRED TASTE

Vegemite is finally Australian again

By Aamna MohdinJanuary 20, 2017

The beloved yeast spread Vegemite, now synonymous with Australian culture, is finally back in Australian hands.

Bega Cheese, based in Melbourne, agreed to buy Vegemite and a range of other food brands, including ZoOSH mayonnaise and Bonox beef extract, from Mondelez International in a deal worth nearly $350 million (paywall). “We feel privileged to be taking on the responsibility and guardianship of one of Australia’s most loved brands,” Bega Cheese’s Executive Chairman Barry Irvin said in a statement.




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A_Simple_Man
14 minutes ago, cookie47 said:

Bega Cheese, based in Melbourne, agreed to buy Vegemite  . . 

. . . and rename it Begamite in true capitalist fashion. 

Image result for Begamite

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19 minutes ago, cookie47 said:

Good news OZEPETE.



ACQUIRED TASTE

Vegemite is finally Australian again

By Aamna MohdinJanuary 20, 2017

The beloved yeast spread Vegemite, now synonymous with Australian culture, is finally back in Australian hands.

Bega Cheese, based in Melbourne, agreed to buy Vegemite and a range of other food brands, including ZoOSH mayonnaise and Bonox beef extract, from Mondelez International in a deal worth nearly $350 million (paywall). “We feel privileged to be taking on the responsibility and guardianship of one of Australia’s most loved brands,” Bega Cheese’s Executive Chairman Barry Irvin said in a statement.




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And just as well they gived it back! I mean it's ennuf to piss off any self respectibubble' Ozzie to think of thooz un-edakated bogans havin thar grezzee mits on our vegemite!  Besidees thoss feckin heathens dont even appreshiate the fine pallot of such a delaacasey!  :showing-ass:

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  • 2 months later...


Andrew the drover (Aussie Cowboy) from a huge cattle station in the Australian

outback appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked. 

"Well, I can think of one thing," the drover offered.

"Once, on a trip to the back blocks of Broken Hill out in New South Wales ,

I came across a gang of bikers who were threatening a young sheila.

I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.

So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed bikie and smacked

him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it

on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or I'll smash the lot of ya!"

St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"


"A couple of minutes ago." 

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Ozepete

Reminds me of the outback pub story... absolutely true story about Mick the fencer, a Jewish salesman and Dan the local dole bludger. They were all have a few quiet frothies when this pissed off prick drives his Mack road train into the bar.. Blood and guts everywhere, Mick, the Jew and Dan all goners. 

Well a couple of days after the funerals, the bar is going again but bugger me there is Mick standing there like brand new, not a scratch on him, coldie in hand and a big grin..  Gees Mick how come? he's asked! 

Well says Mick that St Peter is a good bloke, said we were all pretty stiff to get wiped out by that crazy bastard so he offered to fix us up brand new for just $20 each and we could go back for another life! Geezus couldn't get me 20 out quick enough and here I am!

But what about the others? he was asked! 

Well says Mick, the last I saw the Jew had him down to $12.50 and Dan the dole bludger was demanding that the government should pay! :rofl:

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This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two cartons of Victoria Bitter beer cheap at the local supermarket.

I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home.  I stopped at a service station

for fuel where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.

She glanced over at the two boxes of booze, bent over and leaned in my passenger window, and said

in a sexy voice: "I'm a big believer in barter, fella. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?"

Well,I thought for a few seconds and asked:......................"What kind of beer 'ya got?"

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Primary School Teacher explains to her class that she is a Collingwood fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Collingwood  fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, 'Mary, why didn't 
you raise your hand?'
'Because I'm not a Collingwood fan,' she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Collingwood
fan,then who are you a fan of?'
'I am a Carlton fan, and proud of it,' Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Mary, why, pray tell, are you a 
Carlton fan?'
'Because my mum is a Carlton fan, and my dad is a Carlton  fan, so I'm a 
Carlton fan too!'
'Well,' said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no 
reason for you to be a Carlton fan. You don't have to be just like your 
parents all of the time...
What if your mum was a drunken slut and your dad was a drug addict, what 
would you be then?'
'Then,' Mary smiled, 'I'd be a Collingwood fan.

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