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cookie47

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Salty Dog

My parents just admitted to me that the night I was conceived they were both drunk on Australian beer. 

It's not nice finding out you're a Fosters child.

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Chris24
1 hour ago, Salty Dog said:

My parents just admitted to me that the night I was conceived they were both drunk on Australian beer. 

It's not nice finding out you're a Fosters child.

What happens Downunder stays Downunder.   Unless there's a child of course in which all bets are off and no place is safe......

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Salty Dog

The Australian cricket team have been found cheating in the Third Test against South Africa.

I can’t believe it! A country whose ancestors were convicts, caught cheating! I’m shocked!

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Ozepete
1 hour ago, Salty Dog said:

The Australian cricket team have been found cheating in the Third Test against South Africa.

I can’t believe it! A country whose ancestors were convicts, caught cheating! I’m shocked!

Yes, you'd think they would be better than that... I mean fancy getting caught with such a fine upbringing  and all that practice!  Useless pricks. 

Edited by Ozepete
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cookie47

An Australian company director (an avid golfer) ask one of his apprentices to wash and clean his Rolls Royce and for his efforts could take it and refuel it.

After spending many hours cleaning both inside and out and a trip to the service station he returned the key's to the office.

How did you go says the boss.

Really good ,all done,,BTW When vacuuming the carpet I found this wooden cup/peg looking thing under you driver seat.

Ahhh, Thanks... yeh that's for resting your balls on.

Oh really,Gee those people at Rolls Royce think of everything 😂

 

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newtocebu

Diary of a POM in Western Australia
 

August 31

Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha, Western Australia. Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday. It was beautiful. I’ve finally found my new home. I love it here.
 

September 13

Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No problem though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I’m turning into a sun-worshipper – no blasted rain like back in Leeds!!


September 30

Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me! Another scorcher today, but I love it here. It’s Paradise!


October 10


The temperature hasn’t been below 35 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it’s windy though. Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatizing is taking longer than we expected.

 

October 15


Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed three days off work. What a dumb thing to do. Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this!

 

October 20


Didn’t notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat shit. I’ve learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.

 

October 25


This wind is a bastard. It feels like a giant fecking blow dryer. And it’s hot as hell! The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from fecking Perth ….The wife & the kids are complaining.


October 30


The temperature’s up around 40 and the parts still haven’t arrived for the fecking air conditioner. House is an oven so we’ve all been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $600,000 house and we can’t even go inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?

 

November 4


Finally got the fecking air-conditioner fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 35. Stupid repairman. fecking thief.


November 8


If one more smart bastard says ‘Hot enough for you today?’ I’m going to fecking throttle him. fecking heat! By the time I get to work, the car radiator is boiling over, my fecking clothes are soaking fecking wet and I smell like baked cat. fecking place is the end of the Earth.

 

November 9


Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in my car. I thought my fecking arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off my fecking arse. Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat. feck. feck. feck.


November 10


The Weather report might as well be a fecking recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and fecking sunny. It never fecking changes! It’s been too hot to do anything for 2 fecking months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. feck!

 

November 15


Doesn’t it ever rain in this damn fecking place? Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the fecking pool. The only things that thrive in this fecking hell-hole are the fecking flies. You don’t dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the little bastards!


November 20


Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 friggin’ degrees today. Now the air conditioner’s gone in my car. The repair man came to fix it and said, ‘Hot enough for you today?’ I wanted to shove the fecking car up his fecking arse. Anyway, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid prick. fecking Karratha! What kind of sick, demented fecking idiot would want to live here!

 

December 1


WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!! You are fecking kidding me!

 

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cookie47
16 minutes ago, newtocebu said:

Diary of a POM in Western Australia
 

That's a fkn classic,I got sore ribs from laughing. But so true... My last "residence" was a cattle station in the mid West goldfields of WA, and that story is spot on.

Edited by cookie47
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Salty Dog
Quote

As If the Platypus Couldn’t Get Any Weirder

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The platypus is nature’s crazy quilt, as this strange creature looks like about a half-dozen different animals all rolled into one. Turns out that platypuses were hiding yet another conspicuous feature: THEY CAN FREAKIN’ GLOW IN THE DARK.

It’s not enough to be a mammal who lays eggs, sports a duck-like bill and webbed feet, hunts using electroreception, and wields venomous spurs. The platypus also glows green under ultraviolet light. Because of course it does. Details of this unexpected discovery were published earlier this month in the science journal Mammalia.

The platypus now joins a very exclusive club, as it’s one of only three known biofluorescent mammals, the other two being opossums and flying squirrels. That said, the platypus does stand alone as the only known monotreme, or egg-laying mammal, capable of pulling off this trick (the only other extant monotremes are four species of echidna). Of course, biofluorescence and bioluminescence is seen in many other organisms, such as fungi, fish, phytoplankton, reptiles, amphibians, and at least one species of tardigrade.

The same team involved in the new study, led by biologist Paula Spaeth Anich from Northland College, were the ones who discovered biofluorescence in flying squirrels last year. The discovery happened by accident during night surveys of lichens. Their field observations were later confirmed with specimens of flying squirrels kept at a museum.

With this in mind, the scientists decided to try their luck with another nocturnal-crepuscular mammal. Platypuses, like the flying squirrel (and opossums, too), are active during the dim hours of dawn, dusk, and overnight. For the new study, the team analyzed three museum platypus specimens (two males and one female) sourced from the Field Museum of Natural History in Chicago and the University of Nebraska State Museum (the IUCN Red List currently describes the platypus as a near threatened species, and with a population trend in decline).

Platypus fur appears brown in visible light, but as the new research shows, their fur glows green or cyan under UV light. So for your next socially distanced cocktail party, you need to tell your friends that platypus fur absorbs UV wavelengths between 200 and 400 nanometers and then gives off visible light between 500 and 600 nanometers, an optical process resulting in fluorescence.

As the paper points out, both males and females appear to exhibit this trait, though the authors advise a smidge of caution, given the paltry sample size. Also, the researchers are “confident that the fluorescence we observed is not a property of museum specimens in general.”

Assuming you still have a captive audience at this cocktail party, you can tell your friends that platypus biofluorescence is likely an adaptation to low light conditions. Their glowing fur could be a way for the species to see and interact with each other at night, when “UV absorbance and fluorescence may be particularly important to mammals,” write the researchers.

The finding is also interesting from an evolutionary perspective. Monotremes, marsupials, and placental mammals (eutherians) split off from a common ancestor some 150 million years ago, when the Triassic was coming to a close. That, dear readers, is a hell of a long time ago, as the descendants of this evolutionary divorce had to then fight their way through the ensuing Jurassic and Cretaceous periods, not to mention the mass extinction that wiped out all non-avian dinosaurs. That’s a lot of time and lot of possible evolution.

In a De Gruyter press release, Anich said that “it was intriguing to see that animals that were such distant relatives also had biofluorescent fur.” The authors close their paper with a related question: “Is biofluorescence an ancestral mammalian trait?”

Hard to know. If these three wildly disparate groups of mammals retained this trait after 150 million years, it means the genes responsible for biofluorescent fur are highly conserved, in the parlance of biologists. It’s not impossible, but another reasonable explanation is that these three species—opossum, flying squirrel, and platypus—acquired their glowing fur independently as a consequence of convergent evolution. In nature, a good idea is a good idea, which is why common traits can appear in unrelated species.

This latest discovery could also mean that biofluorescence in mammals is not as rare as we think it is. And indeed, this is exactly where the team is headed next, in their quest to find more mammals capable of glowing in the dark.

https://gizmodo.com/as-if-the-platypus-couldn-t-get-any-weirder-1845529134

 

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cookie47
4 hours ago, Salty Dog said:

The platypus

I've been fortunate to see these animals both in a Zoo and in the wild..

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newtocebu
19 hours ago, cookie47 said:

I've been fortunate to see these animals both in a Zoo and in the wild..

They look even better on the barbie

I reckon they taste a bit like koala

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SkyMan

Ozzies considering moving to the US should decide if they want to live in a Red state or not...

image.thumb.png.ce53564be9ea727d5962e16bf62679a4.png

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Salty Dog

If scousers really are the biggest thieves; how come Aussies don't speak scouse? :biggrin_01:

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Salty Dog

 

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cookie47

 

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