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TequilaSunset

4th visit... feeling even more at ease here now

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Jim Sibbick
39 minutes ago, Salty Dog said:

Is that because you like to walk or like to save P50.

Both!

I am Kuripot and in need of excersise!

 

 

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Dafey

During my first year the taxis used to piss me off with short cuts that weren't, hot cabs, too loud music and general I don't care attitude. I found that their bad attitude was affecting mine. So now I smile and ask to turn down the music or if t's too hot I'll ask if I can crack the window open. If my fare is 90 pesos I let him keep the 100 peso note...Salamat! (enjoy your 20 cent tip) And when I get the 1%er that goes above and beyond I tip him very nicely. My attitude has improved and makes Asawa feel good too!

It's all relative living here....(and I'm not talking in-laws)

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TequilaSunset
Your post was really refreshing.  I like your attitude, so many give the impression that they are some how a celebrity and above the locals. It sounds at least at the present time that she has a great family that aren’t looking for a cash cow, that is so important. 
Thanks, so far so good! My culture dies hard on some things, it's all about finding a balance that works for both of us.

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TequilaSunset
During my first year the taxis used to piss me off with short cuts that weren't, hot cabs, too loud music and general I don't care attitude. I found that their bad attitude was affecting mine. So now I smile and ask to turn down the music or if t's too hot I'll ask if I can crack the window open. If my fare is 90 pesos I let him keep the 100 peso note...Salamat! (enjoy your 20 cent tip) And when I get the 1%er that goes above and beyond I tip him very nicely. My attitude has improved and makes Asawa feel good too! It's all relative living here....(and I'm not talking in-laws)

 

I had one driver that was particularly nice. Nice greetings, then was really happy to have me respond in visayan. He pulled up the front passenger seat so my big ass had more leg room, and was pretty chatty with me/us. At one point while stuck in traffic trying to leave SM Seaside, he had to exit the car to get his faulty trunk to close, and he apologized before getting out of the car to do it. He was a good man grinding out a living. I tipped him well and showed my GF how much before handing him the money. She is always watching what I tip and how much...and the funny thing is she said she knew I would and thought it was nice this time, and ok for me to do so. The GF really seems to have my best interest at heart. 

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RangerUp
15 hours ago, TequilaSunset said:

FILIPINO FAMILIES vs. AMERICAN: Poor Poverty Filipino families seem 10x happier than the average well to do families I know in the USA.

Many cultural reasons for this, the main one being that they aren't "poor", they are just like everyone else surrounding them, as they are taught. Americans are always comparing themselves to the rich and famous, because the attitude is more entitled, more competitive.

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delancey
10 hours ago, RangerUp said:

Many cultural reasons for this, the main one being that they aren't "poor", they are just like everyone else surrounding them, as they are taught. Americans are always comparing themselves to the rich and famous, because the attitude is more entitled, more competitive.

I don’t doubt you we are just having different experiences here.

In the context of a Barangay all they do is compare. They are comparing each other to see if any material thing or other gossip worthy thing changes. If they observe no changes then passively compare until they note changes. If they note positive changes to a neighbors lifestyle they even sometimes (not always) become unhappy... more like uncomfortable. Parochial poor live to compare because it is a prime component of gossip. 

Once again,  I am sure depending on many variables my opinion is just one of many.

As far as the OP as long as he is not too objectified as being a rich foreigner he sounds like he is doing great and his girl is a super keeper!

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TequilaSunset




As far as the OP as long as he is not too objectified as being a rich foreigner he sounds like he is doing great and his girl is a super keeper!


I hope they don't think I'm rich lol. They would be super disappointed if they do.

I've given them stuff, but not typical things. I once brought an adjustable camping rake for mom hahahaha. I saw how far she had to bend over to sweep the leaves with that native whisk broom. I wanted to save her back.

This trip I brought a knee brace for her and her bum knee, along with some tubes of Biofreeze. I brought chocolate for everyone too. Picked up to large drawing pads for her kid (budding artist, very talented) locally for like $1.65 USD. I was worried that buying the Lechon might make me a marked man... But they went and got 4 pigs for the Fiesta, rented massive kareoke system, and had food galore. So overall I feel I'm accepted for being the goofy Kano I am :D

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Dafey
16 minutes ago, TequilaSunset said:

I hope they don't think I'm rich lol

There is no getting around it...as a white foreigner you are considered "rich". I'm finally used to it as I am like you, definitely not rich. However, in their prospective you are richer than most everyone in that area so....you are rich!

If you didn't buy the lechon you'd be the "cheap" rich guy!

Don't stop treating your family though be careful to not go overboard.  It also makes her and her family proud that you are Rich AND humble.

 

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TequilaSunset

Well... I think I've let my girl know just how fast I'll run away if I feel I'm getting used for $$$. So far, it's very much a non issue, even if most of the family is not working. No idea where their money comes from, and I don't care. Things can always change in a heartbeat, I'm just not dwelling on it.

Last day with her and I leave early tomorrow morning... Ugh! Hopefully back in about 4 months! Off to breakfast, movies, chilling out...

There is no getting around it...as a white foreigner you are considered "rich". I'm finally used to it as I am like you, definitely not rich. However, in their prospective you are richer than most everyone in that area so....you are rich!
If you didn't buy the lechon you'd be the "cheap" rich guy!
Don't stop treating your family though be careful to not go overboard.  It also makes her and her family proud that you are Rich AND humble.
 


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RangerUp
4 hours ago, delancey said:

In the context of a Barangay all they do is compare. They are comparing each other to see if any material thing or other gossip worthy thing changes. If they observe no changes then passively compare until they note changes. If they note positive changes to a neighbors lifestyle they even sometimes (not always) become unhappy... more like uncomfortable. Parochial poor live to compare because it is a prime component of gossip.

Gossip yea, depression, never. The US it's an entirely different level by comparison.

Just one example:

"Ambitious" is a goal in America, and an insult in the Philippines.

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cookie47
I am here on my 4th visit, and just want to share some things I have noticed since my last visit, including my attitudes. Some things for those of you that live here you are already aware of. For starters, GF has incredibly crappy hours that change, and it has killed a lot of the fun activities, but we are making the best of it.
LDR's: I never saw myself being in one of this distance, and time in between. Sucks when I am away. 7 months since last visit... we really needed this!
TRAFFIC:  DAYUMMMM, it seems so much worse here in the city, maybe due to the holiday and summer vacation. Oddly, I am pretty even keel about it all, just chill in the back seat of the taxi, and I will arrive when I arrive. Granted the cost goes up, but it is beyond my control'. The street chaos and mayhem just seems to be heavier.
SPEAKING OF TAXIS: Rear view mirror cams are new and even have rear-view cams, I applaud this!
MORE TAXI STUFF: Honoring "No left Turn" signs, (Never did before) only to follow with sketchy and to me illegal, U Turns in front of traffic! 
FILIPINO ATTITUDES: Not sure if possible, but people seem even nicer than the last visit. 
SUMMER MONTHS: At times... Hot AF!!
MY TAXI TIPPING: I found I am not suffering from the over tipping white knight syndrome any longer.  If the driver attempts to carry on a conversation with me, I tip much bigger. Beyond that, about 10-20 pesos for the quiet ones and almost nothing for the ones that spend the time loud talking on their cell phones the entire time.
NON AIRCON LITTLE BUSES: Riding this to and from the province will no longer be tolerated, by me, my ass, or my carbon monoxide filled lungs!
LECHON: The addiction to crispy skin is real!!! I bought the 30kg for 5k, great eats! The family did the re-cook thing for other dishes with the left overs, not a whole lot to work with there. They bragged after we left showing off the FOUR Lechon for the actual Fiesta, and all the party videos. Someday I will actually get to attend.
FILIPINO FAMILIES vs. AMERICAN: Poor Poverty Filipino families seem 10x happier than the average well to do families I know in the USA.
FILIPINO KIDS: They crack me up over the pleasure they derive from the smallest of things, very refreshing! Also how mesmerized the little ones in the province are over a big old Kano!
COMFORTABLE: Feeling more like I belong here (Being comfortable could be a bad thing) I keep my wits about me at all times,  maybe confident is a better word. I know my way around a bit more, practicing more visyan, and have adapted to street crossing (AKA Frogger) much better.
ROAD CONSTRUCTION: Saw a lot of it to and from the province. Looks pretty awful,  so very primitive.
FIESTA: Filipino's know how to have fun!
EXPATS AT THE MALL: I really notice them much more this time around. So many are really "Creepers", and I will just leave it at that. Many of the couples the woman doesn't seem real happy, where the woman seems to be dragged through the mall trailing her man.
MY ATTITUDE: Feeling like I am more relaxed, just accepting things as they are, and not getting overly worked up on the tiny details. I actually seem to have more patience than my GF (That could easily change!  ) I think me being an Air Force brat and living in Europe and a lot of travel to 3rd world countries etc, has really helped me adapt to places like Cebu.
MILLION DOLLAR VIEWS: They are everywhere in the province! (just have to look past the poverty)
Just some stuff... I had some nice conversations with some of my GF's workmates. Quite intelligent, and inquisitive. Funny to listen to some of their views of what they think Americans are and what the USA is like. They were spot on about many things on how they view us (a lot of it is not good) I learned about paper wrapping Mangoes on the trees, and other oddities in the Phil's. I can see me living here, it's just a matter of where and with who . I have been checking out ads on FB for rentals etc, just to get a feel for it. 
Did I mention crispy skin is like crack?  
RESTAURANTS: Tried a few more to add to my list. Hit up the RACK at Seaside (the mall was packed on a Sunday!) Tried their Katsu, me liked! Ordered their BRICK of onion rings, that' was too much! Would be great for 4 people or so, not us and large meals to go with it. SHAKA, good food and vibes, loved the live music. PARK SOCIAL IT PARK, this time finger foods (Loved the fresh chips and dip) and adult beverage on a Sunday night, listening to 70's-80's rock stuff,  very enjoyable evening. SUGBO MERCADO at IT PARK, didn't eat there, absolutely packed on a Sunday night, now on my hit list for the next visit. LEMON GRASS and HUKAD... great eats, love the soups. Just a few of the eats we had...
STAYS: The Quest for all but one night, and the Maracossa Cottages in Moalboal for the second time during our pre fiesta visit to Alegria. Decent breakfast is included, and I stayed for free with my Expedia points.
FLOWERS: I bought her the very first flowers she has received. I got more thank you's for those than anything ever! Such a simple thing meant so much to her! Really cute watching her take selfies with them.
So far so good... I hope the trend continues in a positive direction. I am excited about living somewhere in Cebu, but still looking at other islands, nothing carved in stone. Hell, if me and the GF don't work out, visits to other countries are on the back burner. 
A few pics attached of my time here... leaving Thursday morning, not happy about that. 
 
 
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Nice post, I've been coming since 84.
Yeh, fa sure some things have changed for the best and worst.
3 hours in January from Ayala to Consolacion, As you say, just sit back and relax.

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lamoe
4 hours ago, Dafey said:

There is no getting around it...as a white foreigner you are considered "rich". I'm finally used to it as I am like you, definitely not rich. However, in their prospective you are richer than most everyone in that area so....you are rich!

If you didn't buy the lechon you'd be the "cheap" rich guy!

Don't stop treating your family though be careful to not go overboard.  It also makes her and her family proud that you are Rich AND humble.

 

Basically same with Tata's family - only exception is one Uncle's wife - the one who ordered the 800 P crab and ate it all by herself and several hangers on at their compound trying to get me to buy Tanduay when I'm there  - I tell them she has all our money  -  ask her - works :biggrin_01:

 

 

 

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RangerUp
21 minutes ago, cookie47 said:

Nice post, I've been coming since 84.

Damn.

I think the Philippines now is like the US of the 80's in many ways,

Philippines in the 80's must have been like the US in the 1800's.

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cookie47

RangerUp, yes i arrived in Negros in 1984 to meet my pen pal.No running water (it came in daily delivery was by a boy on a bike that looked like something out of the 1800,s.No power, (someone had stolen the copper wires.)Petromax lamps after 6.0pm.till 9.30.COLD showers.But as an avid camper in Australia it just sll worked for me.
If you wanted to pee at night it was a bucket job.No tv signal, Two story house that "wobbled" under my 95 Kilos when going upstairs.But you know what i wouldn't change anything.
My first wife got her uni degree studying with only candle light.Its been an absolute education for me.

Damn.
I think the Philippines now is like the US of the 80's in many ways,
Philippines in the 80's must have been like the US in the 1800's.


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badian
On 08/05/2018 at 2:32 AM, Jim Sibbick said:

Thankyou but not sure why you need to tip taxi drivers.

By the way, walking can often be quicker than riding in a taxi, so I mostly walk these days.

 

I always take habal habal motorbikes in Cebu city now. Much cheaper and much faster than car taxis. I only ever take car taxis on my own if it is raining. 

the only problem with habal habals is that is not always that straightforward to get them. There can be a shortage of them in some areas and a profusion of them in others. Some areas are a lot better than others, and furthermore, it can be difficult to identify the drivers and figure out just who is open to taking money for a ride. Unlike in Thailand the drivers don't wear obvious uniforms in Cebu. If they are wearing a helmet, and have another helmet on the vehicle, and they are just sitting there, then that is a good sign that they are a habel habel. But there is times when you approach them and ask for habal and they just laugh and say no I'm just waiting for my girlfriend, the other helmet is for her. 

habal habal drivers never expect tips because they know that if you are the kind of foreigner that rides a habal habal, then you are like a Filipino and who never tips. They only rarely get foreigner passengers. With habal habals you negotiate a fare and that is it. What would be the point of tipping them on top of that.

Fares can be as low as 10 pesos, that is the habal habal bottom fare. I would never give them 5 like I would a pedicab for 300 meter ride. Sometimes, the way it works is different prices in different directions ; it can be 20 pesos TO a mall, where they can easily expect to pick up another passenger, but only 15 pesos AWAY for it where they have a lesser expectation to pick up a fare. 

no tipping on habal habals at all, that would be just drawing attention to yourself unnecesssarily and setting a bad example to other foreigners, but at Christmas or at Easter I might give them an extra 10 pesos as a gesture, to be nice. Maybe even on Sundays I might drop them another 10, if they have been a bit of a laugh during the conversation many drivers want to engage in while you are in transit - 'Hapi Sunday!' - but in general no tipping at all.

Habal habal drivers, to their credit, and I have had hundreds of rides, also never try to overcharge ; they might ask for 80 for a fare that I know should be 60 but that is not really overcharging in my view. They might easily try that with a Filipino passenger too especially if they thought they were from out of town. They never ask for anything totally ridiculous, like 120 for a 60 peso fare. 

they charge more in heavy traffic, which is totally reasonable. They know their utility increases and it is totally appropriate that they want to capitalise on it. Therefore, when there is gridlock outside SM, and cars and jeepneys aren't going anywhere, and you want to go to Fuente, a 60 peso habal habal fare becomes 90 or 100. This is not a rip off at all but capitalism in action and completely legitimate. 

there is no flagfall on habal habals like there is taxis, so for short distances they are much cheaper. Like 10 pesos up against 43 for a meter taxi. Over longer distances, they are usually a little more than half the car meter taxi fare  - IT Park to Colon, 60 pesos versus about 100. And they'll get you there even in traffic, in 10-15 minutes max. Not 30-40 minutes like a car taxi would.

Car taxis are just for the birds really. I almost never use them. They're too expensive, and they're too slow. They've got nothing going for them at all. Unless it's raining, or if I have a girl with me. Although on Sundays and holidays before about 5pm when there is no traffic I'll usually use jeepneys and not any kind of taxi at all, car or motorbike, even quite going long distances and even with a girl. Jeepneys are not slow, then. 

you can't go twos-up pillion on habal habals on highways any more, it is no longer allowed, although you can go twos-up pillion on habal habals (and helmet-less, too) in residential areas on minor roads, going short distances. With this fares are never double, just because there is two people. You pay more than you would a single, but not double the fare. So a fare that would be ordinarily be 15, is 20-25 and a 20 fare, is like 30.

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