Live in GF allowances

[topcat72m 551]

I'm looking for a general consensus here. I like to have a girlfriend live in with me. I'm aware there will be a shake down for money. Family and other B.S. I'm going to be living in Cebu close to the city. 

I'm thinking about giving an allowance and limiting my spend and budget by setting it out from the beginning. 

What would you expat suggest a reasonable figure. 

BTW my overall budget is 90k to 100k piso per month military pension depending on exchange rate. 

My initial thoughts would be 10k piso per month. Is it enough. It needs to cover Phil health fo her and her personal toiletries and clothing and family issues. I'll pay her food and she will be living with me. She will also continue working/studying. 

Is ther any expats on here that did a similar deal and how did it work out.

Edited March 21, 2018 by topcat72m

[samatm 2,944]

No offense but it sounds  kinda creepy.  

[Mr. Mike 10,439]

Hmmm...is this a relationship, or is she just a room mate. As in... "a girl live in with me".

Edited March 21, 2018 by Mr. Mike

[topcat72m 551]

19 minutes ago, samatm said:

No offense but it sounds  kinda creepy.  

I'm not sure if I worded it badly. I'm just trying to make sure my budget will allow for my Girls needs. 

[topcat72m 551]

What I'm trying to avoid as far as possible is regular unexpected expenses. I' rather my GF manages her own money demands and by setting an allowance I'm hoping it will be fair and less complicated. 

[+Salty Dog 61,093]

What is she currently living on? 

If she has a job, would you want her to keep it or stay at home with you?

My GF (now wife) and I lived together for 4 years. I never gave her an allowance or even thought about it. I paid her SSS and PhilHealth, which at the times was less than P500 a month. Other than that we lived pretty much as if we were marred. She never asked for money, but never wanted for anything. We did most everything together. On the occasion when she was going to the market without me, I just gave her P1,000 or so. I never asked how much she spent or for change, but she always gave it to me anyway. I had several Philippine bank accounts and we also had a joint account. Since she never had much money, she was very frugal. I would say having her live with me cost virtually nothing extra in the long run. She did have an emergency appendectomy and was in the hospital for nearly a week. The total cost was around P100,000. Philhealth paid something like P30,000 and I paid the rest. Before that though, I was hospitalized for over a month and would have never made it through it without her being there. Now that we are married, it still pretty much goes the same. I pay all the monthly bills. The only one exclusively for her is TRICARE Prime and Dental which is less than $100 a month. She carries the cash which is never more than $100. We pay for everything with a credit card that has earned enough frequent flyer miles for her a round trip ticket to the Philippines if or when she ever decides to go back for a visit. She still ask me anytime she wants to buy something, even though I've told her dozens of time, if she needs something, just buy it.

[Jawny 4,569]

Something to consider as you begin this relationship regarding money.  It can appear demeaning if you reach into your wallet whenever you shop with the girlfriend.  Perhaps a way to avoid having to hand out cash every time, make an arrangement for the girlfriend to manage certain budget items.  That is, things like food shopping, paying utilities, transportation.  If you want to add s9me extra as personal spending then do that as well.

My wife manages all of our normal finances.  If we wanted to buy something special or such, I pay for that.  Otherwise, we have a fixed amount she uses for school, food, utilities etc.  

[Davaoeno 36,874]

I find this topic to be one that needs to be thought about on a cultural level.

In Canada I would never give my gf an  allowance, and she would be insulted if I did .

However, things are much different here, and the attitudes are much different here.

Here , whenever I give someone money for lunch or snacks etc they NEVER say no and never get insulted.  

I think the OP has the right attitude-  discuss money things with a filipino right from the start . They expect it , and will not be insulted by you bringing the matter up .

So its not romantic - but it is culturally correct ! lol

This is not your home country with home country values .

[Goetz1965 889]

I would suggest that - if she has a job currently - you let her go on working and dont give her allowance. That way she is independent from your money until you know if this relationship works out or not.

If she has no job then it gets complicated - because if you give her money she becomes dependent from you. As she then will use that money to support her family she is under pressure too - so in case the relationship doesn't work out she might become a "bad daughter" as she didn't manage to keep that American !

If its a fresh relationship and you dont know each other - I wouldnt give her money for at least 1-2 month - that way you can see if it might work out.
At least she gets all for free from you - living - internet - food ....
Best is to "save" a fixed amount for her needs every month - if you see that maids usually get 4000-5000php only than this would be enough for buying her toiletries and other personal things, or load for her cellphone.

[jtmwatchbiz 31,121]

8 hours ago, topcat72m said:

My initial thoughts would be 10k piso per month

sounds good.  give it a shot.  you can always polish up the arrangement as time goes by.   gotta start somewhere.  

[Enuff 29,734]

I find this topic to be one that needs to be thought about on a cultural level.
In Canada I would never give my gf an  allowance, and she would be insulted if I did .
However, things are much different here, and the attitudes are much different here.
Here , whenever I give someone money for lunch or snacks etc they NEVER say no and never get insulted.  
I think the OP has the right attitude-  discuss money things with a filipino right from the start . They expect it , and will not be insulted by you bringing the matter up .
So its not romantic - but it is culturally correct ! lol
This is not your home country with home country values .

You have a gf in canada?

Sent from my SM-J327P using Tapatalk

[M.C.A. 586]

Women here hold the money so girl friend or not you'll find that you will end up with the 10,000 pesos.  Emergency's are non stop get ready for a rough ride.  I have a friend that gives his girlfriend spending money, but they don't live together.

Don't forget you pay everything when out and about with girl and friends.

[Jawny 4,569]

14 hours ago, topcat72m said:

I'm aware there will be a shake down for money. Family and other B.S. I'm going to be living in Cebu close to the city. 

I'm married,so that may make the situation different in some ways.  However, we have a simple rule when anyone wants to ask for money.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a loan, an investment or a gift.  

Any money that is given is given by me, and the request has to be made to me.  I am perfectly capable of saying no to any request for any reason. 

When we first moved here, I did make loans.  Two loans. First was for ₽10,000 and was repaid as promised. This was to a cousin who ran a business and needed to pay some suppliers. A week or so later, same request, this time for ₽20000. That was in 2004.  Haven’t been paid yet. 

Have had only one other request.  Answer was no.

My wife and I agree to help her parents and give them a fixed amount each month. It pays the cost of some maintenance meds. A couple of times we’ve helped out when hospitilaztion was needed. A BIL had a bout of dengue fever and we spent around $100000 and never told him the cost.  We bulshitted him sohe felt okay about it. 

 

[Davaoeno 36,874]

25 minutes ago, Jawny said:

A BIL had a bout of dengue fever and we spent around $100000

5M Php ?? thats a serious bill

[+RogerDuMond 12,991]

31 minutes ago, Jawny said:

I'm married,so that may make the situation different in some ways.  However, we have a simple rule when anyone wants to ask for money.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a loan, an investment or a gift.  

Any money that is given is given by me, and the request has to be made to me.  I am perfectly capable of saying no to any request for any reason. 

Any money that is given in this family is given by my wife and they must ask her for it and her family doesn't want to be on the receiving end of her wrath. Her oldest brother once asked me for money and after yelling at him for 5 hours continuously, she didn't talk to him for eight years.

As far as an allowance, she doesn't give me one, but if I need anything, I just use her card.