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Things That Make You Go Hmmmm


Kahuna

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Salty Dog

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SkyMan

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Kahuna

One day this big, nasty, sweaty woman wearing a raggedy, sleeveless sundress walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, “What man out there will buy a lady a drink?” The whole bar goes dead silent as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little piss head slams his hand on the bar and says, “Barman, I want to buy that ballerina a drink.” The barman pours the drink and the woman chugs it down. After she’s completed the drink, she turns again to the throng and points around at all of them, again revealing the hairy armpit, saying, “What man out there will buy a lady a drink?” Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and slurs to the barman, “Sir, I would like to buy the ballerina another drink.”

After serving the lady her second drink, the barman approaches the little drunkard and says, “It’s your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?” To which, the drunk replies, “Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina.”

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Kahuna

The Ventriloquist

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in New Brunswick . With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general and all in the name of humor!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little sucker on your knee!"

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Semper paratus
18 hours ago, Headshot said:

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Unless you have it along with and or associated with PTSD.

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