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Thailand ex-expat thinking about Cebu


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steveh2112

 

1 hour ago, Don. said:

My suggestion is that you visit the Phils before you make any serious plans.

I have spent a lot of time in both Thailand and the Philippines.  Thailand is much better for food, hotels, and infrastructure.  I spent 6 years living in the Phils, and I like it there, but I think Thailand is much easier when it comes to transportation, eating and hotels/apartments

that's why i'm planning a short trip first in June. so i'm thinking at first i may hang out in Boracay and just have some fun with some of the freelance girls there. i'm in need of a bit of entertainment. but i think i'll get bored (and broke) with that pretty quick and want to get into more serious relationships with 'normal girls', preferably ones that have regular day jobs. i figure Cube has to be a great location for that.

i understand that Thailand is better for food but since i mostly eat at home, simple stuff, i think i can live with that. i don't need a lot apartment wise,  lack of good internet would be my biggest problem, i'll just have to see how it goes.

But my biggest issue with Thailand right now is i don't trust Thai girls anymore. I've heard all the stories about Thai girls with multiple boyfriends, each sending them money while they work in the bar at night and pretend their home alone in bed. I know most of them are true and i though my wife was different. and she is, she's not like that at all but still, i get the feeling that now she got everything she want, house, car, money, she doesn't need me anymore. In fact that is exactly what she said 'i don't need you anymore'

maybe i'm been overly optimistic but i get the feeling PI girls aren't quite that mercenary. what do you think?

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Are you sure they were not trying to drown you?

I'd recommend that you do NOT buy anything in the Philippines. Just rent a house or condo or whatever. Don't buy a car here either. If there's an accident, even if the other person is at fault, you're

And when I told them that I was not a Christian not a single one of them cared !!       true story ! They include " god fearing man" because they think that that is what they are supposed to look

topcat72m

I think nearly all girls are like that. As long as they need you they want you. Maybe the trick is to keep them needing you. I really don't think Filipina girls are much different. 

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steveh2112
4 minutes ago, topcat72m said:

I think nearly all girls are like that. As long as they need you they want you. Maybe the trick is to keep them needing you. I really don't think Filipina girls are much different. 

interesting point, maybe i'm just too nice, but its hard to change who i am

the only good reason i can think of to go back to Thailand is i have a nice house with several apartments, one of which i can live in,  with my wife in another one. i would be free to date local girls and bring them back to my apartment. my wife is ok with that, although it will seem a little weird i guess.

anyhow, i definitely want to give PI a try before going down that path. just based on the crazy number of contacts i've got on a couple of PI dating sites, it sounds like i can get a new date every night if i want, so we'll see what happens

 

 

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25 minutes ago, steveh2112 said:

maybe i'm been overly optimistic but i get the feeling PI girls aren't quite that mercenary. what do you think?

I think finding the "right" woman is difficult anywhere in the world.

Filipinas can be just as mercenary as Thais.  The biggest pro for the Phils is the wider use of English so communication should be easier.   

I do prefer spending time with Filipinas over Thais.   Their personalities are a better fit for me.

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steveh2112
3 minutes ago, Don. said:

I think finding the "right" woman is difficult anywhere in the world.

Filipinas can be just as mercenary as Thais.  The biggest pro for the Phils is the wider use of English so communication should be easier.   

I do prefer spending time with Filipinas over Thais.   Their personalities are a better fit for me.

2 big pluses there for me. i could work harder learning Thai but i really can't be bothered, i want someone i can really communicate with in English. as to the personalty match, that's mostly what i want to find out when i visit. 

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Steve sorry to hear your situation is not going to work. What you had there was pretty much what I wanted back in the day. I loved Phuket, what a place! Still have a bunch of decorative silks I bought there and on the floating muslim city. Very nice. I remember walking around Thailand anywhere used to make me giggle just because there were soooooooooooooooooo many fine ladies everywhere. OMG drool drool! :-)

A relationship falling apart is stressful, remember to be above board in your dealings with your wife and do the right thing. 

If ever lose my wife I do not think at this time I would be interested in another. Of course I might change my tune but I kinda don't think so. It would be very hard to replace my honey, she is pretty fabulous. Maybe another relationship but not marriage.

I see nothing wrong with wanting to check out the PI, now that you are a free man definitely have a look around. Cast that net and see what comes up have some fun, enjoy life. Be very careful everywhere-- plenty of scammer action  looking to separate you from your money. The PI is not different.

Personally I would have nothing to do with bar girls anywhere and I mean no slight to bar girls (can be lots of fun) but my preference is for educated women. I think chances of success in a relationship are better that way. My Cebuano wife has a degree in accounting and with the skills she brings we make an awesome team. The ladies I dated in Thailand were both educated as well.

Best of luck to you!

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topcat72m

Unless you're going to start a family or bring them to UK or US why get married. Once they've got western passport and the right to half your worth they may no longer need you. Then back to square one. 

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RogerDuMond
4 hours ago, Bama said:

If I was in your position I certainly wouldn't consider living in the PI.The lawlessness, filth, corruption, disrespect to foreigners, typhoons, etc gets tiresome over time.

Steve, take statements like this with a grain of salt. Some people look at the Philippines and see a country like this statement where others of us see absolutely no truth in this statement. It may also depend on where you are looking. Out here in the province, none of those descriptive terms apply. If I lived in the city, I might feel differently.

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musicman666

Filipinas think much more like us ...they speak english too and have a far more similar outlook than Thai ...now what I’m going to suggest is not that easy but you need to find a girl here ..probably not that young that is financially setup already ...ie they don’t really need your money ...if you can find that girl and trust me they do exist then you will be half way there.

if you go for anything else well good luck on the roller coaster ...you will need it. 

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Cebuandrew
32 minutes ago, steveh2112 said:

the only good reason i can think of to go back to Thailand is i have a nice house with several apartments, one of which i can live in,  with my wife in another one.

Wow, the plot thickens. You started this thread not mentioning this tidbit. You have apartments? In Phuket? And, you are gone 6 months a year, presumably, having her manage it all. And suddenly, you have 2 threads on here, seeking advice on a new woman in Cebu. Sorry, but this seems like a full-blown midlife crisis. Best of luck.

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RogerDuMond

Lets not judge his motives, besides I didn't get the same sense after reading ALL of his statements.

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steveh2112
7 minutes ago, Cebuandrew said:

Wow, the plot thickens. You started this thread not mentioning this tidbit. You have apartments? In Phuket? And, you are gone 6 months a year, presumably, having her manage it all. And suddenly, you have 2 threads on here, seeking advice on a new woman in Cebu. Sorry, but this seems like a full-blown midlife crisis. Best of luck.

the other tread i started was just for travel advice since i know nothing about the country

and my wife is happy to mange the place in phuket without me, that is the problem

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steveh2112

i just had a long chat my my friend who lives in Thailand and has a lot of experience dating thais and filipenas. his feeling is that thai women are very much in a relationship for what they can get out of it (money mostly) and more than happy to dump you when they have got what they want. he feels that PI woman are more serious about staying together for the long run, and are better care givers. that's why there are so many filipino nurses around the world. 

my biggest concern is what happens when i'm in my 70s, 80s and beyond? i have social security (in a couple of years) and a private pension so i can take care of a lady for life, but i'm not rich, i can't give them a 5 star lifestyle. i don't know where this leaves me

 

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musicman666
8 minutes ago, steveh2112 said:

the other tread i started was just for travel advice since i know nothing about the country

and my wife is happy to mange the place in phuket without me, that is the problem

Personally I was quite struck by your openness and honesty on your op ...you laid it out there and I guess if anyone wanted to say something negative it wouldn’t be that difficult ...so I say good luck ...I think cebu is a great place to settle and find that special one ...

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RogerDuMond
18 minutes ago, steveh2112 said:

he feels that PI woman are more serious about staying together for the long run, and are better care givers.

Part of this is the fact that divorce is not legal in the Philippines and part is due to the cultural affect of the church. There is more of a feeling that you aren't getting out of a marriage so might as well try to make it work.

As far as better care givers, that is a generalization and depends on the individual Filipina.

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