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JohnSurrey

English at home?

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JohnSurrey

Not sure if this is the right place... 

There are four of us, the children 3 and 5 and the two of us... I want us all to communicate in English.

The boy (5) doesn't talk very well, the girl (3) does and she's been helping him a lot - so he's getting improving.

My wife now appears to be encouraging the girl to speak visaya which I really don't want.

So I am considering introducing the English only at home rule.

Anyone else have the English at home rule ?

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Paul

I do. My rule is, once they enter the front door, they are in my version of the USA. Rule #1 is English only.

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Lordblacknail

It really looks to me that you have much bigger issues than what language is spoken.

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Flakes

Even clever local families speak only English at home..

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colemanlee

Four kids here, have a speak English at home rule...works great...actually the four year old took his interview for the private school, they were interviewing him in Waray, he just looked at them and had not a clue what they were saying, wife told them to speak English to him and he did excellent...he will pick up Waray just by living here....but he will not pick up English unless you force it....Like the wife says...most here understand if you speak English to them but can not speak it back...why because they dont get to speak it much....IMHO...if they are ever to have a future...they must speak English...fluently

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Headshot

Children will be at a great disadvantage in school if they are not fluent in the local tongue and Tagalog as well as English, and if they don't hear those languages at home they won't be fluent. My daughter speaks mostly English at home (although she does speak Bisayan with my wife's family), and she seldom ever watches local TV (which is in Tagalog), so she has been playing catch-up in school with languages. Being multi-lingual is one of the few advantages of being Filipino, so why would you want to deprive them of that?

The rule in my home is that people speak languages depending on whom they are speaking to. I'm not so insecure that I think that they are talking about me every time I don't understand what is being said. I understand enough Bisayan to often get the gist of conversations even though I can't converse in it. This is my wife's home and my daughter's home as well as my home. My SIL and nephew also live with us full time. Why would I set up rules that make others uncomfortable just to make myself a little bit more comfortable?

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colemanlee
7 minutes ago, Headshot said:

Why would I set up rules that make others uncomfortable just to make myself a little bit more comfortable?

Because you give a shit about their future....

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Headshot
23 minutes ago, colemanlee said:

Because you give a shit about their future....

Obviously we have different ideas about what "giving a shit" entails. My daughter and wife speak pretty much perfect English. Just what advantage do you see of then not speaking other languages as well? My daughter is also learning Chinese in school, and I hear that language in my home when my wife is studying with my daughter. Would you also see that as a problem?

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colemanlee

Bill, we obviously have different views on life and most everything else...but I did not say I have a problem with my kids speaking other languages...I did say for MY kids future, I believe English is the language of choice...most business around the world is done in English...have you ever wondered why, no matter where you are...Pilots and air control centers speak English?  You can speak zulu in your house, I could care less....but in MY house, speak English...if you dont, then I have a problem...

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rfm010

Seems like this would be a case by case sort of question.  My wife and her family speak more better english than do i, but whenever they are together it is filipino or taglish.  I've never thought to ask how they became so fluent in english.  As for my kid my wife and i would speak english, the maid filipino, and anyone else whatever struck their fancy.  It has worked well.  Now they all speak filipino when i'm around thinking i won't understand but i know what i'm getting for christmas.

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Paul
2 hours ago, Headshot said:

and if they don't hear those languages at home they won't be fluent.

Bullshit. Your daughter KNOWS you speak only English and will accommodate you accordingly. Likewise, when conversing with your wife, she will speak Cebuano with her. If your wife is Cebuano, that was her first language to learn. Tagalog is a required language for students to learn before graduating from school.

2 hours ago, Headshot said:

Why would I set up rules that make others uncomfortable just to make myself a little bit more comfortable?

It has nothing to do with your comfort. It, however, has everything to do with making sure your child(ren) will grow up to be multilingual. 

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HeyMike

My 6 year old speaks excellent English and Cebuano. Someone once said that a person learns most of their language in the first 5 years of their life. I believe it. Tagalog will have to come later, I guess.

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Davaoeno
11 hours ago, Flakes said:

Even clever local families speak only English at home..

I am calling bullshit on that one.  Local families never talk to their helpers in English, and hardly ever to their relatives in English .  And I don't care how " clever" they are . 

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Headshot
10 hours ago, colemanlee said:

I have a problem...

THAT we can agree on. Those who can easily learn languages, and who can speak multiple tongues clearly have an advantage in this world. Learning multiple languages as a small child makes it easier to learn additional languages later on, and I hope that my daughter will also learn Spanish (since a large portion of the earth is inhabited by Spanish speakers). You cite aviation as an English-only occupation, and that is true, but to be successful in international business, you must be fluent in as many different languages as possible. Otherwise, those you are negotiating with will be talking behind your back (even though you are present). I believe that my daughter will have an advantage over those children who grew up in a single language household.

BTW ... YOU originally replied to my post. It wasn't the other way around. I was merely giving my views on the subject. I wasn't responding to anybody in particular. For some reason, you took my comments as a personal attack on your views. My comments weren't even addressed to you.

8 hours ago, Paul said:

Bullshit. Your daughter KNOWS you speak only English and will accommodate you accordingly. Likewise, when conversing with your wife, she will speak Cebuano with her. If your wife is Cebuano, that was her first language to learn. Tagalog is a required language for students to learn before graduating from school.

You have no idea about what you are talking about. You certainly have no idea about what happens in my home. My daughter speaks English to both me AND my wife (unless my wife is helping her with her lessons in Chinese, Tagalog or Bisayan). She will respond in Bisayan to my wife's family (including my wife's sister and nephew who live with us) because that is the language they are most comfortable with.

8 hours ago, Paul said:

It has nothing to do with your comfort. It, however, has everything to do with making sure your child(ren) will grow up to be multilingual. 

Somehow you think that by restricting the languages spoken in your home, you will encourage multilingualism. You are wrong. Restricting the languages spoken in the home is why most Americans cannot speak the language of their immigrant ancestors. The old language was shunned in favor of English, so the old language was forgotten. I want my daughter's language horizon to be expanded ... NOT restricted.

BTW, in MOST cases, restricting the language spoken to the father's native tongue has EVERYTHING to do with the father's comfort (because he doesn't understand the other languages being spoken. In your case, it is just you being you (because I know that you have at least some knowledge of Bisayan). There is nothing wrong with that in YOUR house, but as soon as you try to promote that as THE preferred method for all households, then you have crossed the line. You have expressed your views on the subject, and I have expressed my views on the subject. Let's just leave it at that.

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colemanlee

:evan:

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