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How to Avoid Being Murdered if You're a Foreigner in the Philippines


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thebob
On 11/6/2017 at 10:17 AM, Supple Steve said:

You've stated that you're the target of malicious gossip more than once...should I dig up your posts?   

As for Filipinos, I've traveled most of my life and always pride myself in relating to the common locals.  It seems to be a wasted effort here, except for a very few open-minded locals who have something going on in their own lives.  Those friendships are enduring and will last a lifetime. Maybe you have the same high standards, but you portray yourself differently, for whatever reasons.  Perhaps, that is the confusion here.

 

Good day.

This topic is like the city or province arguments. There are people who cower behind walls and only feel safe in a sub-division with a guard and then locked behind their own walls.

There are others who don't mind roaming around freely with the locals and get on fine.

It is my experience that those who hide behind walls and don't learn how to relate to the locals seem to come to a sticky end far more often than those who integrate more readily.

There is a lot of paranoia on this forum.

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53 minutes ago, thebob said:

This topic is like the city or province arguments. There are people who cower behind walls and only feel safe in a sub-division with a guard and then locked behind their own walls.

There are others who don't mind roaming around freely with the locals and get on fine.

It is my experience that those who hide behind walls and don't learn how to relate to the locals seem to come to a sticky end far more often than those who integrate more readily.

There is a lot of paranoia on this forum.

Nobody "roams around freely" , even the locals, as in no considerations or concerns what so ever of conditions.

You, them,  and others, myself included, utilize situational awareness and safe practices even if not knowing you are doing it.

Argue with strangers in a bar? NFW

Show a deal of money walking around? NFW

Cast admiring glances at another's woman? NFW

Smile, say good morning, afternoon, evening when making eye contact, don't assume a threatening posture, etc.

Possibly those who hide behind walls haven't learned to practice these basic life lessons and are aware of it.

 

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57 minutes ago, thebob said:

This topic is like the city or province arguments. There are people who cower behind walls and only feel safe in a sub-division with a guard and then locked behind their own walls.

There are others who don't mind roaming around freely with the locals and get on fine.

It is my experience that those who hide behind walls and don't learn how to relate to the locals seem to come to a sticky end far more often than those who integrate more readily.

There is a lot of paranoia on this forum.

Bob I don't feel you live here everything you said above is nutty.  I live among the general public and they drink profusely, I do have good neighbors and they have life long friends and the other neighbors who without question are "LOW LIFES" that are always in the mix.. now if you don't know what I mean by LOW LIFE, let me explain my meaning of that:

LOW LIFE:  Pisses his pants he's so drunk, walks in the middle of the road at a snails pace, every day drinking smoking and bugging others for cigarettes, banging on my door for more booze and always hungry.

-Doesn't care about his kids, grand kids (kids ill) it's all about himself and getting drunk, his grand kids are nearly starving.

-Constantly combs your ego for more goodies, he acts as your dogs buddy, always asks to talk with your wife or daughter to get around you, so goes behind your back.

-Has never ending business propositions that only benefit them and they will never pay it back, they tap your elbow, slap your knee, high five you every 60 seconds and claim as they get more drunk their English improves.

There's no paranoia that isn't' real we have to be on our guard at all times and I've found that drinking with the neighbors is not only costly, unproductive (they still talk smack behind your back) but dangerous when they get tanked, they aren't alone they have so many unscrupulous friends.

 

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31 minutes ago, thebob said:

This topic is like the city or province arguments. There are people who cower behind walls and only feel safe in a sub-division with a guard and then locked behind their own walls.

There are others who don't mind roaming around freely with the locals and get on fine.

It is my experience that those who hide behind walls and don't learn how to relate to the locals seem to come to a sticky end far more often than those who integrate more readily.

There is a lot of paranoia on this forum.

 I guess it boils down to whatever rocks your boat Bob. I tend to avoid most expats here for various reasons but mainly because I have nothing in common. I enjoy karaoke and hanging out listening to decent bands therefore most of my local friends here are bar owners or musos like myself. I frequent a couple of karaoke bars once or twice a week, often being the last one to leave at some unearthly hour in the morning. In all the years I have been living here I can honestly say I have never had a major problem with the locals, I can't say that about the expat fraternity. I, like all of my expat friends are not into meeting in large groups, listening to some opinionated 'dim' guy giving his opinion on life and not really interested to listen to other people. We all know one don't we!

I live in an upmarket guarded subdivision but it has never entered my mind I was hiding from anyone. The way I see it is by residing in a better environment cuts the chances of having noisy,  disrespectful  neighbours and knowing when I  leave the house  my personal belongings are 'relatively' safe.

Seemingly paranoia is rife on this form but I guess who are we to judge, often these problems are psychological so I tend to ignore the negativity of these members.

 

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smokey
5 hours ago, thebob said:

This topic is like the city or province arguments. There are people who cower behind walls and only feel safe in a sub-division with a guard and then locked behind their own walls.

There are others who don't mind roaming around freely with the locals and get on fine.

It is my experience that those who hide behind walls and don't learn how to relate to the locals seem to come to a sticky end far more often than those who integrate more readily.

There is a lot of paranoia on this forum.

people who live in subdivisions do so I think because Zoning is enforced .... a housing area should be just that and so your saying to fit in a guy has to get drunk with locals ? Ha Ha Well guess I will never fit in don't drink 

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On 11/6/2017 at 9:49 AM, Flakes said:

I know lots of locals that are a better person then me.

They can work harder then me, they go more often to church then me, They better can keep the relationship with the wife than me..They eat less then me, They seem more happy then me.

yep they're just like Job in the old bible. You realize they can never divorce right? :rolleyes: 

on my last trip I saw two kids pretending to swim in a puddle, very happy. Most of them would be forced to receive social assistance, in a normal country.

Personal experience aside I have been repeatedly warned by locals. No such warning during my trip in Japan.

heard Makati and BGC are very different. haven't visited.

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musicman666
9 hours ago, thebob said:

This topic is like the city or province arguments. There are people who cower behind walls and only feel safe in a sub-division with a guard and then locked behind their own walls.

There are others who don't mind roaming around freely with the locals and get on fine.

It is my experience that those who hide behind walls and don't learn how to relate to the locals seem to come to a sticky end far more often than those who integrate more readily.

There is a lot of paranoia on this forum.

I’ll be honest that I find people that aren’t interested in what I am interested in very boring ...so that includes just about any random person I meet locally here ...do i cower?... don’t think so!...if somebody could wave a magic wand and make everyone around interested in the same shit as me I would be out there big time ...but it has to be said that if everyone was like that I wouldn’t have to worry about my own personal safety ...people who have my own outlook wouldn’t be any  issue ...so why live in the phillipines?...well family is strong ..I have an adopted baby girl and a great household full of laughs as well as teenage kids who are half Filipino so I’m pretty much signed up to living here and with the internet I’m really not that far away from anybody close ...it’s really ok...I acctually really like it here despite my grumblings...

Edited by musicman666
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When I lived in the Phils, mostly Argao, I kept to myself like a lot of you. Didn’t really avoid foreigners but didn’t go out of my way to meet any. Lived a block and a half from the well-known foreigner bar there and never went once. No reason really, just never had a reason to and there were other things going on. I went to other ones though not a lot. I kept a cordial relationship with the neighbors, nothing more. Helped a few when they really needed it. I can say that every single local that I knew to any extent except one, a p/t driver, asked to borrow money. They always paid it back but I didn’t like being asked so I guess that limited my grooving with the locals. I didn’t get murdered but came damn close to eternity on the roads more than a few times.

 

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delancey

Cultural xenophobia and status seeking here. Creates higher potential for misunderstandings and resentment with insecure, provincial locals.

Not talking about the educated ones, college English, good jobs, not raised dirt poor. 

General statement, not all locals. Not about foreigner being anti-social, miserable. The nice filipinos are the nicest people ever but extreme caution, entaglements are bad here.

Everybodies opinion can be correct it is how you slice and dice it to fit!

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16 hours ago, M.C.A. said:

Bob I don't feel you live here everything you said above is nutty.  I live among the general public and they drink profusely, I do have good neighbors and they have life long friends and the other neighbors who without question are "LOW LIFES" that are always in the mix.. now if you don't know what I mean by LOW LIFE, let me explain my meaning of that:

LOW LIFE:  Pisses his pants he's so drunk, walks in the middle of the road at a snails pace, every day drinking smoking and bugging others for cigarettes, banging on my door for more booze and always hungry.

-Doesn't care about his kids, grand kids (kids ill) it's all about himself and getting drunk, his grand kids are nearly starving.

-Constantly combs your ego for more goodies, he acts as your dogs buddy, always asks to talk with your wife or daughter to get around you, so goes behind your back.

-Has never ending business propositions that only benefit them and they will never pay it back, they tap your elbow, slap your knee, high five you every 60 seconds and claim as they get more drunk their English improves.

There's no paranoia that isn't' real we have to be on our guard at all times and I've found that drinking with the neighbors is not only costly, unproductive (they still talk smack behind your back) but dangerous when they get tanked, they aren't alone they have so many unscrupulous friends.

 

I would like to start by saying you really don't know Bob. I lived in the same town as him and have known him for ?? years, a drinking buddy and good friend that has helped me a lot:huh: 

My definition of a low life is someone that sadly lack in core values. That has no bearing whatsoever with how rich or poor you are.

There are some amazing people here. Although I mentioned about getting too personal I am really with you on being careful. I guess my main reason would be not to drink with people that cant hold  booze regardless of race or nationality. Some get stupid but others get really aggressive with a skinful.

Takes me back to my bouncer days many years ago but this is not a place where you cant deal with people as its not our country.

Edited by hyaku
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9 hours ago, rep1 said:

yep they're just like Job in the old bible. You realize they can never divorce right? :rolleyes: 

on my last trip I saw two kids pretending to swim in a puddle, very happy. Most of them would be forced to receive social assistance, in a normal country.

Personal experience aside I have been repeatedly warned by locals. No such warning during my trip in Japan.

heard Makati and BGC are very different. haven't visited.

Then I guess you have never spent much time drinking with Japanese? A few advantages as they sit on the floor and don't have far to fall. In bars there is always some idiot that wants to take all his clothes off to the dismay of staff. Sadly many think that drinking is a stress reliever rather than go home and get some sleep.

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Jim_in_Jax

A good way to get killed here is over land disputes.  My wife owns some property on Camiguin.  All the neighbors around it on all sides are her relatives.  While we still lived in the US we built a vacation house there, and everything was great until she decided she wanted a wall fence around it.  We had the property surveyed once before we built so we could get the house positioned with equal distances to the property lines.  We got it surveyed again before the fence was built and being that a couple of meters of the fence would have been inches from one of the neighbors (cousins) house and they would have never been able to paint it or do repairs as needed with our fence in the way so, I convinced her to set that portion of the fence inside our property with enough space for them to get between it and their house.

A huge family dispute ensued and tensions grew as the cousin believed we had bribed the surveyor to "steal" some his property and claim it as our own.  The sketch (as they call it here I guess) of our property was on file at the local government office and was used for the surveying.  The cousin argued with and threatened the surveyor, who likely goes through this often as he wasn't intimidated in the least.  The construction of the fence was the end of the relationship with my wife's branch of the family and this cousin.  They have promised that they will kill us all and even blamed us for cursing them when one of the cousins' daughters died from an overwhelming list of medical problems she had suffered for years but, because she died, it was our fault.

I have not doubt that if we stayed there that they would have us knocked off.  We don't go back there anymore and have the property for sale.  Even though I personally have not been involved in any of this I am guilty by association and would suffer the same fate the others would should they ever get around to hiring someone to rub them out.

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Jersey Jim
30 minutes ago, Jim_in_Jax said:

A good way to get killed here is over land disputes.  My wife owns some property on Camiguin.  All the neighbors around it on all sides are her relatives.  While we still lived in the US we built a vacation house there, and everything was great until she decided she wanted a wall fence around it.  We had the property surveyed once before we built so we could get the house positioned with equal distances to the property lines.  We got it surveyed again before the fence was built and being that a couple of meters of the fence would have been inches from one of the neighbors (cousins) house and they would have never been able to paint it or do repairs as needed with our fence in the way so, I convinced her to set that portion of the fence inside our property with enough space for them to get between it and their house.

A huge family dispute ensued and tensions grew as the cousin believed we had bribed the surveyor to "steal" some his property and claim it as our own.  The sketch (as they call it here I guess) of our property was on file at the local government office and was used for the surveying.  The cousin argued with and threatened the surveyor, who likely goes through this often as he wasn't intimidated in the least.  The construction of the fence was the end of the relationship with my wife's branch of the family and this cousin.  They have promised that they will kill us all and even blamed us for cursing them when one of the cousins' daughters died from an overwhelming list of medical problems she had suffered for years but, because she died, it was our fault.

I have not doubt that if we stayed there that they would have us knocked off.  We don't go back there anymore and have the property for sale.  Even though I personally have not been involved in any of this I am guilty by association and would suffer the same fate the others would should they ever get around to hiring someone to rub them out.

Land disputes seem to be the number 1 issue in my wife's family that elicits the most in-fighting and resentment. They are still fighting over crap that happen 50 years ago, which of course no one ever thought to get documented and certified with local LRA.

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delancey
19 minutes ago, Jim_in_Jax said:

A good way to get killed here is over land disputes.  My wife owns some property on Camiguin.  All the neighbors around it on all sides are her relatives.  While we still lived in the US we built a vacation house there, and everything was great until she decided she wanted a wall fence around it.  We had the property surveyed once before we built so we could get the house positioned with equal distances to the property lines.  We got it surveyed again before the fence was built and being that a couple of meters of the fence would have been inches from one of the neighbors (cousins) house and they would have never been able to paint it or do repairs as needed with our fence in the way so, I convinced her to set that portion of the fence inside our property with enough space for them to get between it and their house.

A huge family dispute ensued and tensions grew as the cousin believed we had bribed the surveyor to "steal" some his property and claim it as our own.  The sketch (as they call it here I guess) of our property was on file at the local government office and was used for the surveying.  The cousin argued with and threatened the surveyor, who likely goes through this often as he wasn't intimidated in the least.  The construction of the fence was the end of the relationship with my wife's branch of the family and this cousin.  They have promised that they will kill us all and even blamed us for cursing them when one of the cousins' daughters died from an overwhelming list of medical problems she had suffered for years but, because she died, it was our fault.

I have not doubt that if we stayed there that they would have us knocked off.  We don't go back there anymore and have the property for sale.  Even though I personally have not been involved in any of this I am guilty by association and would suffer the same fate the others would should they ever get around to hiring someone to rub them out.

I am going to kill you, you insulted us by not giving us our way.

Standard playbook. They do it to each other.

We keep property, real money,  loans, any complex interaction to a big giant zero.

Hard lessons learned by me. 

And they do go bat sh-t crazy over real or imagined entitlement to property. 

Slightest value property up for grabs or threatened equals best Jerry Springer episode ever if it could be somehow recorded for playback.

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Richard K

After my gf's mom died she was left with one of several coconut lots they get income from from the copra... In Eastern Samar. My g/f and I do not live there and she has never received any income from it... it always went to help her mom. anyway.. we talked it over and she decided to sign it over to her sister there who is taking care of her other disabled sister and also she has 3 small kids. Needless to say a few months after a shit-storm developed. While it is upsetting to her the deed is done and the conflicts no longer really concern or effect us... I can only imagine what would have happened if she had decided to keep it and gotten me involved in it in any way...I did not retire and move here for those kind of headaches...

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