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Are there any submissive filipinas in the long term?


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A_Simple_Man
4 hours ago, Richard K said:

 

personally I get bored with true submissive pretty quickly... I don't want a woman that is afraid to speak her mind or lives in fear of dis-pleasing me over some minor "infraction"....bores the shit out of me

 

I would get bored with a person like that too.  Where I disagree is in saying these are attributes of a "true submissive"

In my observations, the submissive females I see in other good relationships are not afraid to speak their mind.  The "alpha male" (trying to get away from the stereotype of a "Dom") listens to what she says and then makes the decision.  Sometimes he compliments her on a good idea and they follow that idea, but he makes that decision because she submits to his position as CEO of the family.  Sometimes there are arguments in any relationship but I don't know any "Dom"s who will tie up their "Sub" and whip them because she spoke her mind.

There are variations too.  Some alpha males go so far as to pick out the clothes their partner will wear.  That bores me.  I prefer that she picks out my clothes and lays them out for me so I do not have to bother myself with minor crap like that.  If I don't like what she chooses I explain why and choose something different.  It is not a problem. I have the final say, she submits to my choice.

I like it that a submissive lady treats me like a king.  As king I do what I want, when I want, where I want, and yet I am considerate of the wants and needs of my loyal and only "subject".  Where I see some other relationships fail (not all do but I observe some do) is when the "King" starts to treat his lady like a "Queen".  Next thing you know she thinks she is Cleopatra, or at least Imelda Marcos.

I freely admit I did that with my previous relationship.  She treated me like a King for a couple of years, I did my best to compliment her, educate her, encourage her, and make her my Queen.  While she appreciated that, she found it was more fun to be a dominant Queen. Thus she found another foreigner who was content to be her subject and she was the dominant one.  So be careful what you ask for, as you just might get it.

Having done it both ways, I can say I am happiest when I am the Alpha in the relationship but I do get a certain addiction to dominant women when they are good at it.  The idea of equally shared power is Utopian in my opinion, I do not believe it exists.  I believe that those who think they have that do not realize that its only because their wife lets them think that way. Just my opinion.  I know that will not change the minds of others who are convinced they are "equals" in their relationship.

 

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as the man of the family i feel it is my place to sacrifice my wants and needs for the good of the family when it's called for .. as the woman of the family my wife feels it's her place to sacrifice h

To me when someone says submissive I tend to think they are saying inferior and not a equal. I like a woman with some "grit" in her. I want someone  that is willing to please but not necessarily 

I prefer a woman that is submissive because she loves and trusts me, not because she fears me. Many people react strongly to the word "submissive" because they think it implies abuse. But, i

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A_Simple_Man
8 hours ago, Lee said:

 

I think one thing we non Filipinos need to realize, is that the Philippines is their country so our ladies might just know a little more than we do about how things work

 

That would be a valid opinion if the lady in question was used to taking taxis but I have met filipinas who have lived in Philippines their whole life and never taken a taxi, and yet still think they know more about how things work, because they "heard from someone".

You can substitute the taxi theme for many other themes and the result is the same.  Many filipinas do not know their own country and yet think they do.  In my case, I have learned that my own judgement, based on 10 years of living here, is more trustworthy than the judgement of a young lady trying to snag a foreigner.

Your case is different, Lee, because you have an older, wiser, mature woman.  That works great for you but many foreigners come here looking to regain their youth, and that often means starting over with a younger lady.  This includes me as I am not looking for a lady my own age who already "knows it all" as we would just butt heads all day.

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Enuff

about 5 years ago we were in Alona. I needed batteries for camera. went in a shop and bought cheap China batteries. after leaving she said "dear, those batteries are China, they won't work". after getting back to hotel and inserting the batteries they were dead.

I said why didn't you say something before I bought them, she said it's not her place to correct me. I said is it your place to allow me to throw money away? after some discussion we decided it's better to speak up than make a bad decision.

5 years later i apparently still make a lot of bad decisions

 

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Davaoeno
2 hours ago, lamoe said:

 

I didn't go into the full details of what transpired all that day and yes I did overreact  -  have explained to her about actions of ex-wife why I  said what I did

it was the culmination of many little things during the day - as most relationship disagreements are - still learning each other.

Ex-wife did it also but not as a way to protect me  was  purely to try to control. With her it was accompanied by the stern look of disapproval not the one of concern I missed.

:thumbsup:

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Richard K
4 hours ago, A_Simple_Man said:

many foreigners come here looking to regain their youth, and that often means starting over with a younger lady.

damn man... that makes me tired just thinking about it....lol.. I am really glad I have a somewhat older girl...She is 48.. a widow with 1 grown son who lived with us for a while until he got a job further away. It is easier for me I think having a woman that has some history of her own. We never argue... we laugh alot. She gets a little prickly when she is tired or doesn't feel good ..but so do I. Never any tampo... she thinks that is childish and I tend to agree. Sex is not demanding for either of us so that is easy also. I kid her sometimes that I'm gonna trade her in for 2 half her age to which she just says.. "Pishhh"... which means exactly what it sounds like....lol

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Richard K

Years ago in up-sate NY when I was working heavy/highway const. one of the other project superintendents I knew had a Korean wife who was maybe 10-12 years younger than him. I stopped into his house one morning to pick up something and he invited me in. He had this amazing house... all brand new single floor ranch he had built. The house was done... They lived in the cellar. The house was done..complete. beautiful hardwood cherry floors, new furniture, appliances..everything. They still lived in the cellar because he was out of town all week and he didn't want her in it when he was not there. I sat in that gloomy basement at the table and he never introduced me or even acknowledged her presence. At one point he snapped his fingers really loud and said  "go make Ric a coffee"..and she scurried to it. She hovered in the background the whole time I was there never spoke or even hardly moved.... move ahead about 10 years and while out of town he met a woman who would tell him to get stuffed when he tryed that crap... he left his Korean wife and married her. There is a difference between being an "alpha" male and being a domineering dickhead control freak

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A_Simple_Man
3 minutes ago, Richard K said:

There is a difference between being an "alpha" male and being a domineering dickhead control freak

That's the best way to say it.  Absolutely true.  There is also a difference between a lady being submissive to her mate and a girl who is either a victim or gets some kind of erotic thrill out of being abused.  Lets hope we are all on the same page and discussing "alpha" males with a mate who has a submissive nature. No harm in that.  Its just the opposing side of being p*ssy whipped. Each to their own and neither is likely to understand the other.  But no harm in discussing it.  Is there?

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Soarking

I had a coworker who used to take one of our unused company cell phones, (that had a tracking system on them) put it on silent mode, wrap it up in a towel and hide it under the seat of her car.   All day he would sit in his office watching every where she went and keeping a log book when, where and for how long at each location.  He used to come into th lunch room bragging about how he kept total track of her.    I thought it was kind of sick myself.   It's good to see there was a lot of trust in their marriage.  HAHA.

The ironic part was they eventually got a divorce because HE got caught cheating on HER.   

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11 minutes ago, Soarking said:

The ironic part was they eventually got a divorce because HE got caught cheating on HER.   

My observation over the years is that the women that are most suspicious of where you are going and what you do,  are likely to be the ones that are cheating themselves.

They are guilty, and they assume that you are guilty also.

 

Works both ways, of course.

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Richard K

I have know alot of guys who stepped out on their wives and were fine with that... but if she did it then it was all over... totally unacceptable..

I can't speak for women.. different species...lol... I wouldn't have it any other way tho.. the man that tells me he has women all figured out I figure is delusional...

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Richard K
2 hours ago, A_Simple_Man said:

Each to their own and neither is likely to understand the other.  But no harm in discussing it.  Is there?

nope... that's what makes life interesting... there are many alternative ways to flay a feline... or something like that

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Contango

I think some people have a strange understanding of submissiveness, it is a somewhat cultural phenomenon as in many places the woman simply has no choice, in an accepting and loving relationship i have found it to be a refreshing and wonderful thing, im sure its very open to abuse by dickheads and dominants etc and thats a shame, my submissive pinay wife is free to disagree and tell me off, tell me what she thinks and wants.

Its all good and she gets her way often, she gets a lot of respect from me and her family..i think its wonderful, wouldn't have it any other way. 

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I prefer a woman that is submissive because she loves and trusts me, not because she fears me.

Many people react strongly to the word "submissive" because they think it implies abuse.

But, in a relationship there is typically one partner that follows the other. As long as you complement each other there is nothing wrong with that.

 

 

Complement, not compliment :)

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