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Are there any submissive filipinas in the long term?


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to_dave007
13 hours ago, lamoe said:

Off to Metro linen dept - she starts looking at the 250 P sheet sets.  I said no - she said but cheaper - I said my money I decide what quality.- on sale best quality - 7,500 P -  complete set w/ pad and cases for the extra 2 extra

IMHO this may set an expensive precedent that you come to regret.

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as the man of the family i feel it is my place to sacrifice my wants and needs for the good of the family when it's called for .. as the woman of the family my wife feels it's her place to sacrifice h

To me when someone says submissive I tend to think they are saying inferior and not a equal. I like a woman with some "grit" in her. I want someone  that is willing to please but not necessarily 

I prefer a woman that is submissive because she loves and trusts me, not because she fears me. Many people react strongly to the word "submissive" because they think it implies abuse. But, i

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Soarking
2 hours ago, lamoe said:

on sale best quality - 7,500 P - 

DAMN,  For that price does the sales lady come with them to make sure your real comfy?

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oztony
2 minutes ago, Soarking said:

DAMN,  For that price does the sales lady come with them to make sure your real comfy?

Either that or the sheets massage you to sleep every night , and the pillow slip hops up and brings in drinks when requested.....?

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Mandingo

To me when someone says submissive I tend to think they are saying inferior and not a equal.

I like a woman with some "grit" in her. I want someone  that is willing to please but not necessarily be submissive. I want a partner in life and not someone who I tell when she can eat, where she can go, who her friends are and how she needs to serve me. My mom would have never put up with that and I guess that's what I want in a wife too. My dad was a hard-assed old school guy and I see having a partner in life worked out well for him so I treat my wife the same.

My wife makes her own money (which really helps) and she can spend it how she wants just like me. If I want something I can buy it, if I want to go somewhere I go and she can do the same. Normally we respect the others wishes but if not oh well and life goes on. I want someone intelligent enough to argue with a bit and be able to hold her own. There are days when I cook, clean and do laundry and there are days when she does, we both work full time and then some. I want someone who is able to take control if needed a I am secure enough in myself to not be intimidated by a partner who has some ambition for herself. 

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spydoo
12 minutes ago, Mandingo said:

To me when someone says submissive I tend to think they are saying inferior and not a equal.

I like a woman with some "grit" in her. I want someone  that is willing to please but not necessarily be submissive. I want a partner in life and not someone who I tell when she can eat, where she can go, who her friends are and how she needs to serve me. ...

2

It's a bit of a straw man argument to throw out an extreme definition of the word then beat that down.

To me it means two people who give and take but, if it comes down to it, one person gets to overrule the other. Really, that's the way all relationships work unless there is constant arguing, it's just that in some homes it's the man and others it's the woman.

In my home it's the man.

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Contango
12 hours ago, poby said:

What exactly is "submissive" in this context?  I've been shacked up with Mrs for over 8 years and from the start until now, I make all the decisions in regard to money, where we go, when we go, what we watch etc.  But I wouldn't call her submissive.  She simply accepts I'm the captain of the ship and is happy to let me make the decisions.  Is that submissive?  If not, what exactly is submissive in practical terms?

Yep thats submissive, a little weird you didn't know...

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Davaoeno
6 hours ago, lamoe said:

she noticed I wasn't saying anything but wasn't pleased and taped me on the leg to say stop - when we got home I told her to never correct me again.

For me that is a perfect example of what is meant when saying that a submissive is desired.  How dare a woman who cares for you and wants to protect you and not let you get ripped of  tap you on the leg !!!  As a true submissive she must learn to never bother you and never question what you do . You are her  Master and its best that she learns that immediately .

[ and no - I am not trolling. Sarcastic yes.  But in the world of doms and subs this is exactly how the situation plays out for many people .  At least in the West subs are so voluntarily . Here i think many woman are submissive because they really have no choice]

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I think one thing we non Filipinos need to realize, is that the Philippines is their country so our ladies might just know a little more than we do about how things work, so when my wife taps me on the leg or arm, I usually at least listen to her and then make a decision based on all the facts, so in a case like that, I might tell her to ask the taxi driver why he took the longer way.

Often taxis will try to avoid traffic, thus sometime take a longer route which might actually turn out to be faster and in the scheme of things, what is an extra 5 or 10 pesos to one of us, for me it just means I deduct it from the tip they would have gotten if it turns out that they went the long way to try to get some extra pesos, since I know how much it should cost on average to most places we go.

Also many of the taxis are old and many of the short cuts to Winland for instance are via screwed up broken up roads, thus sometimes the driver is being kind to our backs when trying to take smoother roads or kind to their old beat up taxi. Not everyone in the Philippines is out to get us, some people do things for different reasons.

So i will add, is my wife submissive, no and I would never wish her to be. 

Edited by Lee
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I'm da boss and I got her permission to say so! :)

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to_dave007
21 hours ago, hyaku said:

...It was a rather unique situation as Geoff's wife never went to school and could not read or write.  ...

She is one of these people that seems rather incapable of coping on her own....

He did the right thing by her by taking her to Australia and marrying her but It dropped her in the shit when he died just before pensionable age...

American friend of mine here in Tuburan (Lavoy, R.I.P.) married his lady and took her to Texas for the last 8 or 10 years of his life.  Once in Texas, she too was completely unable to cope by herself, and she was already old enough (late 30's) that Lavoy must have known she would NEVER be able to manage alone in USA.  He knew his days were coming to an end in his 70's, and he built a house for her and the family in Tuburan and rewrote his will specifically to force his wife to remain in the Philippines in order to receive her inheritance, in the form of a life annuity.  Some might say otherwise..  but having seen the two of them together in his last few years I think he was showing tough love..  or at least doing his best to do so... from the bottom of his heart.  Lavoy was a good man, and he appreciated her love and care in his last years.

Unfortunately, there are just as many pitfalls to life for such women in the Philippines as there are in the USA..  so Lavoy's plan.. though good..  didn't work as well as he'd hoped.  Her criminal brother helped himself to the riches often until he got himself imprisoned.  Then her kids built their lives around momma's monthly money.  Last I heard she works as an OFW in Singapore...  cleaning houses.. and no doubt looking for a man as good as Lavoy.

The flowers still grow .. and are tended..  at the house Lavoy built.   

Edited by to_dave007
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to_dave007

For me, being in a marriage with a large age gap, I most definitely do NOT want a submissive woman.  I want a woman who will grow while we are together to be fully able to take care of herself once my time is done.  One of my biggest fears would be to leave her unable to cope with the world around her.

There's no question that being with a strong woman brings challenges.  We don't always agree, and when we don't..  wow.. She can hold her own.  Sometimes..  even often sometimes..  it's difficult..  but because she's a strong woman I can see her grow year by year.. and I'm proud of her.

I've often thought that my first two marriages didn't work because I didn't find a lady who matched up to my mum well enough.  Surprises me to see how well the third one does match up.

BTW Lamoe.. If she just tapped you in the leg to check your emotions then it means she didn't yell at you..  or say anything verbally..  or out loud that could be heard by the driver.  She was communicating quietly to you..  in a way she knew would not bring embarrassment to you, and which would still allow you to see your own emotions rising.  Not sure what you see wrong about that.

Edited by to_dave007
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Richard K
10 hours ago, lamoe said:

Taxi home with all that stuff and more - driver was pulling the let's extend the fare for the foreigner - long route - no short cuts - she noticed I wasn't saying anything but wasn't pleased and taped me on the leg to say stop - when we got home I told her to never correct me again.

"But not good for you  to get mad"

If I want to get mad I will - so never do that again.

"Yes dear I promise"

maybe she just didn't want to see you get the snot beat out of you...

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Richard K

personally I get bored with true submissive pretty quickly... I don't want a woman that is afraid to speak her mind or lives in fear of dis-pleasing me over some minor "infraction"....bores the shit out of me

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lamoe
7 hours ago, Davaoeno said:

For me that is a perfect example of what is meant when saying that a submissive is desired.  How dare a woman who cares for you and wants to protect you and not let you get ripped of  tap you on the leg !!!  As a true submissive she must learn to never bother you and never question what you do . You are her  Master and its best that she learns that immediately .

[ and no - I am not trolling. Sarcastic yes.  But in the world of doms and subs this is exactly how the situation plays out for many people .  At least in the West subs are so voluntarily . Here i think many woman are submissive because they really have no choice]

 

5 hours ago, to_dave007 said:

BTW Lamoe.. If she just tapped you in the leg to check your emotions then it means she didn't yell at you..  or say anything verbally..  or out loud that could be heard by the driver.  She was communicating quietly to you..  in a way she knew would not bring embarrassment to you, and which would still allow you to see your own emotions rising.  Not sure what you see wrong about that.

I didn't go into the full details of what transpired all that day and yes I did overreact  -  have explained to her about actions of ex-wife why I  said what I did

it was the culmination of many little things during the day - as most relationship disagreements are - still learning each other.

Ex-wife did it also but not as a way to protect me  was  purely to try to control. With her it was accompanied by the stern look of disapproval not the one of concern I missed.

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Paul
7 hours ago, Davaoeno said:

[ and no - I am not trolling.

Hard to tell, for some folks. For me? I just peg you as trolling all the time, getting it correct about 90% of the time. :)

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