familyguy

Lending money to a Filipino

39 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

18 minutes ago, Headshot said:

Being a foreigner cancels out any benefits being a patron would have afforded you.

Nah I'm just wondering how their local patrons benefit from such deals? Unless they are politicians or gang leaders?

Edited by rep1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

26 minutes ago, rep1 said:

Nah I'm just wondering how their local patrons benefit from such deals? Unless they are politicians or gang leaders?

I think it is more of a respect thing ... almost like a godfather (mafia) kind of thing, but it has nothing to do with gangs or politics per se. Politicians do tend to act similarly to patrons for many people here, but they certainly aren't the norm. Politicians give other people's money and expect votes in return. Most patrons just expect to be asked to be primary sponsors at weddings, asked to be godparents at baptisms and asked for advice when people have issues. Like I said, it isn't a system that most foreigners would see value in or even understand.

Edited by Headshot
2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

don't lend money to anyone , filipino or otherwise, that you are not willing to give money to

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Headshot said:

Being a foreigner cancels out any benefits being a patron would have afforded you. That doesn't mean they won't still want you to help with their "needs" because they see you as rich. It just means they won't necessarily ask for your advice or take your directions. I was explaining the tradition that causes the misunderstandings about "loans" and paying them back. As foreigners, we fit into their tradition like a square peg fits into a round hole because we don't understand of subscribe to their traditions. That doesn't mean that they won't still try to put us into that round hole. It just means that it might not be comfortable for the peg or the hole.

I have noted obligation to the "patron" still sometimes carries over to a foreigner. I'm assuming the level and extent of it may not be as strong. The nice ones really try hard, work hard and know they owe it, imo.

I guess the interpersonalizing of the loan is the real danger because then it is the "culture". Very true but also very convenient here in 2017.

 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have lent money to Filipino friends and been paid back, I have lent money to our Filipino family and they think loan means gift, thus while some others have had luck when lending to family, for us it has not worked out, YMMV, be careful because once a few did not pay back, I became the bad guy for refusing all other loans gifts.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My gf says this is how her auntie work  ( they have money ),  they hand out a little money to the poorer realities,
and in return the poorer relatives are forever in their debt,
my gf aunties don't like my  gf,  since she will never ask,  or accept money from them, 
so they have no control over her..

and yes it seems,  a loan is a gift, as I have been bitten once with that with my gf brother,

 

 

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My BIL has an uncle who lives in Germany. Twice a year the uncle visits and throws two or three parties at his expense. He also hands out cash gifts in an almost ceremonial sort of way. His nephews and others are invited to visit and handed cash, typically ₽1000 or ₽2000.

On a few occasions, the uncle runs low on cash, especially when his elderly German boyfriend is back in Germany. So, the uncle will "borrow" money from my BIL. Usually ₽5000 or so. This NEVER gets paid back. 

I think the concept of"loans" is lost in translation, sort of. As previously mentioned, it seems to be religious teaching that god looks favorably upon those who give rather than receive.  Just watch beggars sometime. The most common feature is to ask, repeatedly.  The beggar very often wears down the one being asked.

In my community, people will come ask my wife for small loans all the time. Sometimes justa few hundred pesos. It is heart wrenching to hear the reasons why.  We have a simple strategy for these requests.  She tells those asking to ask ME for the money. I don't get asked. 

Many times those asking will simply say, "you are rich, help us out". Pretty straightforward comment and based upon the experiences I described above ....the "rich" uncle from Germany.  

We use a simple set of rules for immediate family. We loan money frequently for a wide range of reasons. Why is not the issue. We tell them to set the conditions themselves for repayment. Usually this is a monthly or weekly payment. Sometimes all paid at once. The deal is simple.  Pay back as agreed upon.  If not, don't ask again, the answer will always be no. Has worked for decades.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

2 hours ago, noddle said:

My gf says this is how her auntie work  ( they have money ),  they hand out a little money to the poorer realities,
and in return the poorer relatives are forever in their debt,

 

 

My experience with this method, which I learned with the Chinese in Taiwan, is that - given the extended families located on other islands - I often never see those folks again haha... I'm shy on that method now.

Edited by profits101

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Rule # 1 on handling money "never loan money to friends or family" if you cannot "gift it" don't do it!

Exception is life or death situation.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now

  • Commercial Banner Advertisers

  • Adsbygoogle

    Advert

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.



  • Donation Goals

    Modifications, Applications, & Plugins

    Purchase and renewal costs for themes and various features added to the forums.

    $30 USD added to cover PayPal fees.



    $249.68 of $280.00 goal reached.
    Donate Now
    Yearly Hosting Fees

    Yearly web hosting fees, $75 USD / month.

    $30 USD added to cover fees.



    $584.42 of $930.00 goal reached.
    Donate Now
    Software Licensing Renewal Fees

    This goal is 100% funded. Please choose one of the others to support.

    $50 USD every six months for software licensing.

    $15 USD added to cover PayPal fees.



    $211.88 of $115.00 goal reached.
    Donate Now
  • Donation Stats

    • Total Donations
      $949.18
    • Total Fees
      $35.82
    • Total Goals
      $1,325.00
    • Still Needed
      $375.82

    • $949.18 of $1,325.00 goal reached.
  • Adsbygoogle

    Advert