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    • Paul

      New Members: Click Here   03/09/2017

      Hello. If you are a new member, and feel a bit apprehensive about posting in the "open" forums, or, just wish to get your "sea legs" prior to posting in the open forums, feel free to post anything you wish to talk about, in the Newbies Forum. No one will bother you, or give you any sort of grief. Everyone there is happy to help you get answers to your questions.


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1,425 Really bored when not online.

About mabutiman

  • Rank
    Molded easy change led advertising promo products
  • Birthday 09/07/1960

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    Quezon city, Manila
  • My Blood Type
  • Interests
    Manufacturing / marketing unique molded easy change led backlit advertising promo products

Philippines Experience

  • Philippines
    Current resident
  1. If you're wondering why HP and others are dropping desktops etc…. It's called GLASS. The future is almost here with Corning glass, and the ideas are mind boggling! Click on glass above https://www.youtube.com/embed/6Cf7IL_eZ38
  2. Lovemaking tips for Seniors 1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for three minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. 3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!) 4. Make sure you put 999 on your speed dial before you begin. 5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember. 6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed. 7. Have aspirin ready in case you actually complete the act. 8. Make all the noise you want...the neighbors are deaf, too. 9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news! 10. Don't even think about trying it twice. 'OLD' IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!' 'OLD' IS WHEN... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. 'OLD' IS WHEN... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. 'OLD' IS WHEN... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. 'OLD' IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police . 'OLD' IS WHEN ... 'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today. 'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot... 'OLD' IS WHEN... An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom. 'OLD' IS WHEN... You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.
  3. Juggling Comedian Michael Davis
  4. Hmmmmm ...I think you mean ...assets !!
  5. Getting Old Should Require Training ...
  7. Lesson 1/6: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’ After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’ ‘It was Bob the next door neighbor,’ she replies. ‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’ Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. Lesson 2/6: A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’ The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’ The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak’ Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’ Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity. Lesson 3/6: A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’ ‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’ Puff! She’s gone. ‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’ Puff! He’s gone. ‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’ Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say. Lesson 4/6: An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’ The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’ So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Lesson 5/6: A turkey was chatting with a bull. ‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’ ‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. ‘They’re packed with nutrients.’ The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.. Lesson 6/6: A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Morals of the story: (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. (3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut
  8. Traffic officer is not going to ask about anything but traffic offence....guns drugs etc not on his mind ....but maybe the car was stolen and no papers or licence ...this would raise an alarm and he bolted ....thats why he fled leaving the car !!
  9. Only the Aussies can produce an ad like this!! I don't think you'll see this on Canadian/American TV. Love the closing salutation. This runs on Australian TV on a regular basis!
  10. Bottle of Merlot....... THIS IS PRICELESS!! BOTTLE OF MERLOT…… A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to a very attractive woman who was sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant. The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, “This is from the gentleman who is seated over there.” and indicated the sender with a nod of his head. She stared at the bottle of Merlot for a few seconds, then decided to send a reply note back to the man. The waiter, who was waiting for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman. The Note Read: “For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and '7' inches in your pants......” After reading the note, the man decided to send one of his own back in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady. His Note read: “Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be: I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo parked in my several garages, also…. I have beautiful homes in Aspen, Miami, and a 10,000 acre ranch in beautiful Texas. There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman who is as beautiful as you, would I cut off two inches. Just send the wine back."!!!
  11. Have a look at this little beauty!