mabutiman

Elite
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    504
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About mabutiman

  • Rank
    Molded easy change led advertising promo products
  • Birthday 09/07/1960

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Quezon city, Manila
  • My Blood Type
    O-
  • Interests
    Manufacturing / marketing unique molded easy change led backlit advertising promo products

Philippines Experience

  • Philippines
    Current resident
  1. .Prostate Examination! An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution . When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor . The female doctor says ,"I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, while I check your prostate. Take a deep breath and say , '99'. The old guy obeys and says, "99". The doctor says , "Great", now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check. Take a deep breath and say , '99". Again, the old guy says, '99'." The doctor said, "Very good". Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, '99'. The old guy begins, "One... two.... three."
  2. THIS IS FUNNY! This happened 30 years ago. Only those of us over 50 would recognise the people in the front row. https://www.youtube.com/embed/ n6mbW-jMtrY?rel=0
  3. Subject: Fastest Ship the World has ever Seen Published on Jan 10, 2017 “This is certainly the fastest ship in the world,” said Incat managing director Kim Clifford. “Of course there's a few speed boats that could surpass 58 knots, but nothing that could carry 1,000 passengers and 150 cars, and with an enormous duty-free shop on board.” The Fastest Ship the World has ever seen
  4. This video clip of a flying man (on top of a drone) was shot in Naples, FL - about 60 miles south of Sarasota -- saw nothing about it in the paper. Shades of the old Buck Rogers! Perhaps your next aviation adventure should lean in this direction!! he set a world record for distance traveled of 7,388 ft. The board has 4 small turbojet engines (used in RC model aircraft) for lift and 2 smaller ones on the side for stabilization. The backpack is full of fuel (not flotation). There is a remote to control the vertical thrust. The control of the craft is through shifting one’s balance (along with a computer to aid in stabilization).” This 5 minute video just in from an event in Naples, Florida. Caution: This may blow your mind!
  5. hi Paul .... just trying to post in off topic ....not accepting ...just posted same in cambodia forum ...no problem

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. mabutiman

      mabutiman

      Yes i just posted it in ....outside the phils  ....no problem there ...but had to remove formatting ...not sure what that was but all ok just not able to post in off topic

    3. Paul

      Paul

      I has to be a browser issue. I just looked at your account and you should be able to post in all the forums just fine. 

      I checked for new topic and replies to existing topics, too.

    4. mabutiman

      mabutiman

      ok thanks paul ....cheers !!

  6. A local charity had never received a donation from the town’s banker, so the director made a phone call. “Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven’t given a penny to charity,” the director began. “Wouldn’t you like to help the community?” The banker replied, “Did your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?” “Um, no,” mumbled the director. “Or that my brother is unemployed? Or that my sister’s husband left, leaving her broke with four kids?” “I … I … I had no idea.” “So,” said the banker, “if I don’t give them any money, why would I give any to you?” ===================================================================================== I can't tell whether my new car's suspension is amazing, or if I'm a sociopath... Either way when I ran over that pedestrian I didn't feel a thing. ====================================================================================== Why is a koala bear like a chainsaw? They both feck up trees. ======================================================================================= The father-son talk. A father asked his 12 year old son if he knew how babies were made, so the kid started crying: I don't want to know! Please don't tell me! The confused father asked the boy why he didn't want to know. "Because when I was six I was told the easter bunny wasn't real. When I was eight you told me the tooth fairy wasn't real and when I was eleven I found out santa wasn't real! Now you're gonna tell me adults don't actually screw?!"
  7. A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing and the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing." He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?" ============================================================================== A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi are at a wedding. The priest sees an altar boy, and says, "man I'd really like to screw him." The Rabbi responds by saying, "out of what?" ============================================================================== A man walks into the bar waving his gun around yelling, "I have 45 calibre Colt 1911 with a seven round magazine plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife!" A voice from the back of the room called out, "You're gonna need more ammo!" ============================================================================== An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady. He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found: 1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar. 2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose. 3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called. 4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground. 5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring. Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning..
  8. I told myself I'd stop drinking this year. But I'm not about to listen to some retard who talks to himself. ================================================================ On his 70th birthday, a man got a coupon from his wife.... The coupon paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded to go, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for. The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoon and then say '1-2-3'." When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want." The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" the medicine man responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon." The man was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he quickly took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes as she asked "What was the 1-2-3 for?" And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle. ================================================================================== I'm really upset with my new Thai wife.... I shouldn't have assumed that "male order bride" was a typo. =================================================================================== I wish I got laid.... ...as much as I get screwed.
  9. Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $4,000 per month. We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. ****************************** ****************************** ****** Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a pub with a Happy Hour. And by the time I leave, I look just fine. I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. ****************************** ************** The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, he looks good doesn't he.' ****************************** ************ If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. ****************************** ******** I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,.....just getting over the hill. Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate. The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. ****************************** ********************* I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing... My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no idea where the hell he is. ****************************** ***** I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
  10. Thats exactly what happens in Australia ...3 generations living on welfare !!
  11. IT’S NOT NEW, BUT.........I JUST PASS EM ON.......Aussies will understand Perth Radio - Daily Question Competition, to win a CD. Announcer - "What category question would you like." Caller - "Sport please." Announcer - "What's the name of the race that stops this nation?" Caller - "Aboriginal."
  12. Love Handles ------------------------- One day as Monica Lewinsky was walking along the beach awaiting her Senate trial testimony, she came upon an ornate bottle that had washed up on shore. Curious, she picked it up, brushed off the sand, and lo and behold a genie popped out. "Greetings, Miss Lewinsky," the genie said. "Since you have released me, I will grant you one wish." "Well," Monica replied, "I'm going to be on television alot for a while, and I want to look my best. I wish you would get rid of these love handles." "Your wish is my command," said the genie. A wave of his hands, a puff of smoke... And her ears promptly fell off.
  13. Try reading this out aloud!!!!!!!!!! For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt??' Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them. Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt